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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some parents believe that learning maths at school is redundant and should not be taught. while others believe that it should remain a foundation subject. Discuss both views and give your opinion

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Mathematics is one of the fundamental subjects for any pupil. Though some individuals support avoiding
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 subject at school as it is repetitive, others opine that it is mandatory. In my opinion, math is a crucial subject that can improve the cognitive function of children. I stand for my opinion for the first cause which is adults really know what we are facing in day-to-day life. Calculation is
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 an important thing to master, whether in workplaces, markets, public places, or even in society, we often use numbers in numerous ways.
Furthermore
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, children have to master the number functions, at least for the basic things
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 as addition, subtraction, multiple, and division for their brighter future.
For example
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, a child with better cognitive skills, especially those who are interested in engineering, which is often reflected in their numerical abilities has a more successful future than other kids who can not do it. The second cause is the ability to use
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 since school can be very advantageous when the person is reaching their adult age.
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, when someone calculates a discount on a shoe price tag at a department store
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, who has high numerical skills can easily know the net amount of the shoes when the discount shows 60%.
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 skill will make their daily life to become easier.
To sum up
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, my opinion stands out that offspring who learn mathematics are not redundant and still must remain a foundation subject to teach from an early age.
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 because
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 ability brings many facilities in someone's life in the long run.

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Coherence & Cohesion
For coherence and cohesion: The essay follows a logical structure with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. However, the transitions between ideas could be smoother, and paragraphing can be more strategic to enhance readability. It is imperative to use linking words effectively to improve the flow of information.
Task Achievement
In terms of task achievement, while the essay addresses the prompt, it needs to present a more balanced discussion covering all aspects of the topic, including a more detailed exploration of the opinion that mathematics should not be mandatory in education. Also, include specific examples to illustrate your points and enhance the persuasiveness of your argument.
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