Some people think that all children should learn about history at school. Others however, believe that other subjects are more relevant to children's lives today. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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A lot of individuals argue that all kids must study ancient cultures and civilians at kindergartens.

However

Linking Words

, other people believe that recent materials are more practical for young students. So , is the latter view the best for children or the initial? On one hand, without any doubt, the

history

Use synonyms

of any nation may constitute the most important part of its formation. What is more, the

history

Use synonyms

of states is not a mere subject

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

but expresses their cultures , accomplishments and even their current century.

For example

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, each

states

Change to a singular noun

state

show examples

in the world have a special

day

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every year and

this

Linking Words

day

Use synonyms

their

Replace the word

there

show examples

are celebrated as its national

day

Use synonyms

a lot of developing countries

organised

Wrong verb form

organise

show examples

Autonomy

Use synonyms

day

Capitalize word

Day

show examples

. For

this

Linking Words

, the

history

Use synonyms

of nations has to be learned by all kids .

On the other hand

Linking Words

, a enormous experts believe that educational institutions must be teaching only recent subjects.

In addition

Linking Words

, these materials may be more useful for students and

prepared

Wrong verb form

prepare

show examples

them for their futuristic jobs .

For instance

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, these days job marketing requires excellent qualifications and soft

skills

Use synonyms

power

such

Linking Words

as everyone should

be have

Change the verb form

have

show examples

more than one language and

also

Linking Words

having to be perfect with computer

skills

Use synonyms

. For

this

Linking Words

, any teaching services must provide these

skills

Use synonyms

for their students and must not waste their time on undesirable subjects in the future.

To sum up

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although

Linking Words

soft

skills

Use synonyms

power

Correct word choice

and power

show examples

are more practical and are considered the key to the success in future, but

also

Linking Words

the

history

Use synonyms

of any nation is

also

Linking Words

very important. So, I believe that any student should study

history

Use synonyms

to know more and more about his country and

also

Linking Words

about the world.

mohammedelhassan811Sun Apr 21 2024

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introduction

Ensure your introduction clearly presents the topic and outlines your viewpoint. This sets a solid foundation for your essay.

cohesion

Use a range of linking devices to improve the flow of your essay. While your essay has some coherence, it could benefit from phrases that more clearly connect ideas and paragraphs.

balance

When discussing opposing viewpoints, make sure to fully explore each perspective before giving your own opinion. This helps in providing a balanced argument and demonstrates a complete response to the task.

examples

Try to use specific examples to support your points. This not only makes your argument stronger but also more engaging for the reader.

vocabulary

Be mindful of using a varied and accurate range of vocabulary to express your ideas. Avoid repetition and try to demonstrate the breadth of your language knowledge.

topic coverage

Your essay effectively addresses both views on the importance of learning history versus more contemporary subjects.

conclusion

You provided a clear conclusion that summarizes your viewpoint and the arguments presented in your essay.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

277 words

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Some people think that all children should learn about history at school. Others however, believe that other subjects are more relevant to children's lives today. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Your opinion

More and more children are becoming obese. What are the causes of this and what are the solutions?

Many people today are worried about the large quantities of waste produced by ordinary households. What problems are caused by household waste, and what solutions may be possible in both the short and the long term?

Countries around the world will be facing significant challenges relating not only to the environment, but population and education as well. What problems will your country face in the next ten years? How can these problems be overcome?

Some people think that the government should offer financial support and care to old people, while others think people should save money for their future life. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people believe that a job provides both income and for a social life, while others think that friends should be made outside of work. Discuss both views and give your opinion.