You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. We are becoming increasingly dependent on computer-based technology. How do you think it will change in the future? Is it good for us to rely so much on computers? Write at least 250 words.

Computer-based
technology
is becoming more integrated into human
life
. It
has
Unnecessary verb
apply
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started with the speed of computers in offices and families simplifying our
lives
. Some
people
believed that those
machines
would never have a significant role in our society. In fact, some universities and jobs are built exclusively around those
machines
and some
people
wouldn’t have survived without their utility.
People
don’t know, how our
lives
will be built on computers in the
future
, and is it good to rely so heavily on them. In my opinion, computer-based
technology
will be modernized and integrated into human
life
. Today
people
can’t imagine how will they work without plotting graphs and writing text in Windows applications.
Moreover
, the correct usage of these applications is already integrated into educational programs. By
this
I mean, that
future
education and jobs will based on those
machines
. To exemplify, nowadays the most popular and highly paid jobs are computer-related,
such
as IT, coding, and cyber security. It only means that computer-based
technology
will spread significantly
among
Change preposition
in
show examples
our
lives
and
future
. Every person wants to make their
life
easier and computers help humans fulfil
this
wish. It’s absolutely normal and beneficial to rely on those
machines
. Objectively, the
future
belongs to
technology
, and the more
people
master it, the more successful the development of civilization will be.
For example
, the innovation of the first computer which was during the twentieth century, improved several directions of humanity's development. The Internet accelerated the process of education and information search, which had a beneficial effect on society.
Overall
, computer-based
technology
has proved to be a positive factor in a
future
society, because
people
gradually use it in daily
life
and work.
This
is clearly more about the pros of relying on
technologies
Fix the agreement mistake
technology
show examples
, making our
lives
simpler, and allowing
people
more time for personal growth and self-care.
Submitted by aakbarov2010 on

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coherence cohesion
Make sure to consistently link your ideas across paragraphs to enhance coherence.
task achievement
Try to provide more detailed and specific examples to strengthen your arguments.
task achievement
Revise minor grammatical and word choice issues for improved clarity.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which effectively frames your arguments.
task achievement
You address the task well, providing a thoughtful response to both parts of the question.
coherence cohesion
The essay flows well, helping the reader understand your reasoning.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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