IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Writing Task 1: Coffee and tea buying and drinking habits in five Australian cities

#coffee #tea #habits #five #australian #cities
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The bar chart illustrates the data from a survey about
coffee
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 and tea buying and drinking habits in five
cities
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 in Australia.
Overall
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, it is evident that the number of people who bought fresh
coffee
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 in the
last
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 4
weeks
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 in Melbourne has peaked compared to other
cities
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,
while
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 the individuals who went to a cafe for
coffee
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 or tea in the
last
Linking Words
 4
weeks
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 in Brisbane and Adelaide are lacking compared to other
cities
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. Looking for more details, the data of people who spent time purchasing fresh
coffee
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 in the
last
Linking Words
 4
weeks
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 in Melbourne has
submited
Correct your spelling
submitted
 at 63%, in Hobart is around 62% and
similarly
Linking Words
, in Sydney is around 61% respectively.
In contrast
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, the individuals who went to
cafe
Fix the agreement mistake
cafes
show examples
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 purchase
coffee
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 or tea in the
last
Linking Words
 4
weeks
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 in Brisbane and Adelaide
lacked
Verb problem
were
show examples
 approximately 33%. Regarding
to
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
the rate of individuals
bought
Correct pronoun usage
who bought
show examples
 instant
coffee
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 in  the
last
Linking Words
 4
weeks
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 in Hobart was
higest
Correct your spelling
higher
 compared to other
cities
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 at around 50%.
Submitted by musa.nuwa on

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introduction conclusion
Ensure that your introduction clearly sets up what the graph shows and your conclusion effectively summarises the main trends without repeating details from the body of the report.
logical structure
Organise your report into clear paragraphs, each one focussing on a specific aspect of the data. Make sure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence.
supported main points
Provide specific data points to support the trends you describe, and ensure you compare data for all categories and all cities where relevant.
complete response
Make sure to fully develop your response to include all important trends and to ensure you give an overview in addition to selecting significant data points to discuss.
clear comprehensive ideas
Include specific data and make more comparisons between data points to show a more comprehensive understanding of the chart. Your writing should accurately reflect the data and its significance.
relevant specific examples
Use a variety of structures and vocabulary to describe the data adequately. Check that your descriptions are accurate and that percentages are reported correctly.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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