Some people believe that if people are allowed to buy guns, they will be able to protect themselves and the crime rate can be lower. To what extent do you agree or disagree？

#people #guns #crime #rate #disagree？

There are

people

who think that all experimentation on

animals

should be banned because they are harmful,

while

some

people

believe that it is possible to make scientific discoveries from animal experiments. I completely agree with the latter statement because it has a lot of benefits that outweigh the

damages

Fix the agreement mistake

damage

show examples

animals

Firstly

, most of the scientific discoveries were made from animal experiments. In today's world, most of the medicine we have

founded

Verb problem

found

show examples

in nature is mixed in labs and tested on

animals

; it would be impossible to use them on our body without a

test

, and the best way to

test

a medical product is

using

Change preposition

by using

show examples

an animal rather than a human, which is more ethical.

For example

, nowadays bodybuilders use anabolic steroids. The most popular anabolic steroid is a drug called Trenbolone, which was first used on cows, and after the effects on cows, scientists discovered a new medicine.

Secondly

, it is almost impossible to stop

people

from testing on

animals

. Banning is not enough; there would be a lot of scientists who

test

products on

animals

secretly in their private, secured labs.

For instance

, in my country, some drugs are illegal to use, mix and sell, but

people

still buy some drugs, mix them in their apartment and

test

them on

animals

first before they try it on themselves and start selling the new product they made. In conclusion, I stand with those who think experimentation on

animals

is justified.

Animals

will be tested

Change preposition

apply

show examples

no matter what, so the best way to take these actions under control is by making them free.

Submitted by enver07600 on Tue Sep 10 2024

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task achievement

Try to provide more specific and varied examples to strengthen your arguments. One example per main point might not be sufficient for a higher score.

coherence cohesion

Ensure each paragraph contains only one main idea. Your second point regarding the impossibility of stopping animal testing shifts focus midway, which slightly affects clarity.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, contributing to overall coherence.

task achievement

Main points are generally well-supported with examples, helping to convey the arguments effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

266 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5

6.5

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

6.5

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

7.5

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

6.5

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

advocate
debate
controversial
firearm
self-defense
crime prevention
deterrence
gun violence
gun control laws
public safety
accidental discharge
suicide prevention
impulsive
accessibility
legislation
firearm regulation
balancing
individual rights
crime rate
violence
arguments
opponents
supporters
proponents
second amendment

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Some people believe that if people are allowed to buy guns, they will be able to protect themselves and the crime rate can be lower. To what extent do you agree or disagree？

Fully explain your ideas

Some people think that books should be stopped in schools and that, videos, films and computers should be used instead. To what extent do you agree?

In many countries, the number of animals and plants is declining. Why do you think this is happening? How can this issue be solved?

Some parents buy their children a large number of toys to play with. What are the advantages and disadvantages for the child having a large number of toys?

Health services are a basic necessity. However, private companies have made them quite costly for ordinary individuals. Do the advantages of private health care outweigh its disadvantages?

It is important for all towns and cities to have large public outdoor places like squares and parks. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?