Some people believe that if people are allowed to buy guns, they will be able to protect themselves and the crime rate can be lower. To what extent do you agree or disagree？

#people #guns #crime #rate #disagree？

There are

people

who think that all experimentation on

animals

should be banned because they are harmful,

while

some

people

believe that it is possible to make scientific discoveries from animal experiments. I completely agree with the latter statement because it has a lot of benefits that outweigh the

damages

Fix the agreement mistake

damage

show examples

animals

Firstly

, most of the scientific discoveries were made from animal experiments. In today's world, most of the medicine we have

founded

Verb problem

found

show examples

in nature is mixed in labs and tested on

animals

; it would be impossible to use them on our body without a

test

, and the best way to

test

a medical product is

using

Change preposition

by using

show examples

an animal rather than a human, which is more ethical.

For example

, nowadays bodybuilders use anabolic steroids. The most popular anabolic steroid is a drug called Trenbolone, which was first used on cows, and after the effects on cows, scientists discovered a new medicine.

Secondly

, it is almost impossible to stop

people

from testing on

animals

. Banning is not enough; there would be a lot of scientists who

test

products on

animals

secretly in their private, secured labs.

For instance

, in my country, some drugs are illegal to use, mix and sell, but

people

still buy some drugs, mix them in their apartment and

test

them on

animals

first before they try it on themselves and start selling the new product they made. In conclusion, I stand with those who think experimentation on

animals

is justified.

Animals

will be tested

Change preposition

apply

show examples

no matter what, so the best way to take these actions under control is by making them free.

Submitted by enver07600 on Tue Sep 10 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

Try to provide more specific and varied examples to strengthen your arguments. One example per main point might not be sufficient for a higher score.

coherence cohesion

Ensure each paragraph contains only one main idea. Your second point regarding the impossibility of stopping animal testing shifts focus midway, which slightly affects clarity.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, contributing to overall coherence.

task achievement

Main points are generally well-supported with examples, helping to convey the arguments effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

266 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5

6.5

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

6.5

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

7.5

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

6.5

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

advocate
debate
controversial
firearm
self-defense
crime prevention
deterrence
gun violence
gun control laws
public safety
accidental discharge
suicide prevention
impulsive
accessibility
legislation
firearm regulation
balancing
individual rights
crime rate
violence
arguments
opponents
supporters
proponents
second amendment

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5.5
band
Some people say the most important thing about being rich is that it gives you the opportunity to give back or help the poor. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
It is believed by some that the best thing about being affluent is having a chance to help the needy. While one benefit of being rich is that they can help the impoverished, there are many other advantages of being rich, which are perhaps more important.
5
band
Companies should provide sports and social facilities for local communities. To what extent, do you agree or disagree with their opinion.
Following the increase in people's needs of public resources as the rewards from the local companies, people debate that it is essential or not. Some sets of people believe that constructing buildings for citizens is not necessary via companies' budgets, conversely, others think that it is crucial. I personally agree with the latter opinion and will explain the reasons why I support the idea.
5.5
band
It is not necessary to travel to other places to learn about other cultures. We can learn from books, films, and the Internet. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is a common belief that learning about other cultures by traveling to other places is not essential because gaining knowledge about cultures can be done through books, films, and the Internet. Although I understand the logic behind this statement, I still firmly disagree with this idea for some reasons which will be discussed below.
5
band
Research indicates that nowadays some consumers are much less influenced by advertising than in the past. What do you think are the reasons for this? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?
Currently, there are some studies finding that advertisement is less likely to impact some people than before. Several factors may relate to this phenomenon which I believe is a positive development.
<4
band
Some people believe that a natural ability is needed to be successful at sport, others believe that hardwork and discipline is more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion. Use relevant ideas and examples
In some cases natural talent plays a huge role in the player abilities, but in other cases discipline is more important. For me I belive that hard work and discipline is a key factor to be successful at any sport. In this essay I will disscuss both point of views and why are they realevent.

Some people believe that if people are allowed to buy guns, they will be able to protect themselves and the crime rate can be lower. To what extent do you agree or disagree？

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people say the most important thing about being rich is that it gives you the opportunity to give back or help the poor. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Companies should provide sports and social facilities for local communities. To what extent, do you agree or disagree with their opinion.

It is not necessary to travel to other places to learn about other cultures. We can learn from books, films, and the Internet. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Research indicates that nowadays some consumers are much less influenced by advertising than in the past. What do you think are the reasons for this? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Some people believe that a natural ability is needed to be successful at sport, others believe that hardwork and discipline is more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion. Use relevant ideas and examples