IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Universities should accept equal number of male and female students in every subjects. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#universities #students #subjects
The strength of Male and Female
Students
 in every
subject
 would be the same or not is a smouldering issue of Today's social life and is extremely arguable
due to
 its Unquestionable significance.
This
 matter is being agreed
as
Change preposition
upon as
show examples
 well as disagreed by the society
according to
 its own ideologies and views. I personally disagree with the present proposal since I feel as if it is improper and unfair. One group of people strongly favours that strength would be same in every
subject
 because of various logical reasons,
firstly
 it gives the equal opportunity for both male and female
students
 to learn and acknowledge in whatever
subject
 they want.
This
 ensures that both genders have equal opportunities to pursue their interests and talents in various fields.
In addition
, it
also
 gives equal access to educational and career opportunities for both males and females. It
also
 sends a message that all subjects are open to every person regardless of their gender. In Contrarily, the second school of thought has its own rational visions regarding
this
 matter. they believe that
Students
 should be free to pursue subjects based on their interests rather than being guided by the
subject
. If someone enrols
students
 in a
subject
 in which they are not interested. Implementing strict gender quotas might lead to unintended consequences,
such
 as
students
 feeling pressured to pursue subjects they are not genuinely interested in, resulting in lower academic performance and Grades.
To conclude
, I believe that selecting
students
 based on their sex is not appropriate. We ought to consider various factors when admitting undergraduates, like their academic performance, achievements and social experiences.
Submitted by livelygirl127 on

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coherence cohesion
The essay lacks a clear, structured progression of ideas. There are abrupt transitions and a mix of different views that are not thoroughly explored or clearly linked. To improve, it's important to have a logical sequence of points, use paragraphing effectively to separate ideas, and employ cohesive devices such as linking words and phrases to connect ideas within and across paragraphs.
task achievement
The response partially addresses the prompt, but the position is not stated clearly. It is vital to articulate a clear opinion on the issue and to remain consistent throughout the essay. Include more relevant, detailed examples to support your points. The final position should be a result of the arguments made, and the conclusion should be more definitive to demonstrate a strong stance.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • gender equality
  • social balance
  • affirmative action
  • gender imbalances
  • meritocracy
  • gender quotas
  • gender stereotypes
  • career segregation
  • demographic
  • inclusive
  • fluctuations
  • applicant numbers
  • cultural shifts
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