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Writing Samples /
Band 2

Some people think that the government should give financial support to artists such as musicians, painters and poets. Others think that it is a waste of money. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #government #support #artists #musicians #painters #poets #waste #money
The given bar chart provides information about common activities for juveniles as part of
bedtime
Add an article
the bedtime
show examples
 routine in
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
.
Overall
, children spend their most of time
doing
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
reading.
However
, they have
lest
Correct your spelling
less
show examples
interests
Fix the agreement mistake
interest
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 in watching television and consuming. In terms of reading books and stories, 4-5
years
 students have
spend
Change the form of the verb
spent
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 nearly three
quarter
Fix the agreement mistake
quarters
show examples
.
In contrast
 with 1-3 and 6-6
years
, they perform over sixty and below 60 respectively.
In addition
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 two moderate activities
such
 as blushing teeth and having a bath, the
most
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
younger have
spend
Change the verb form
spent
show examples
their
Change the word
a
show examples
 great amount of time
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
having a shower, which is nearly a half. But they do less brushing, just over a quarter as part of
bedtime
Correct pronoun usage
their bedtime
show examples
 routine.
Furthermore
,
middle ages
Correct your spelling
middle-aged
show examples
 children maximize their schedule by TV, which is 10% more than eating.
On the other hand
, 4-6
years
 and 6-6
years
 perform most in enjoying
programme
Add an article
the programme
show examples
,
whic
Correct your spelling
which
 is more than double than their dinner.
Submitted by sahareatushar124 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. This helps in establishing a coherent structure that the reader can easily follow. You should introduce the topic at the beginning, present the main points and arguments in the body, and then summarize or provide a conclusion at the end.
task achievement
Your essay must directly address the question posed. Make sure that each paragraph has a clear main idea that relates to the central topic, and that your opinion is explicit. Aim to fully respond to all parts of the task.
coherence cohesion
To score higher in coherence and cohesion, you should make better use of cohesive devices (such as 'however,' 'in addition,' and 'furthermore') to smoothly connect sentences and paragraphs. This creates a flow that makes the essay easier to read and understand.
coherence cohesion
Your essay should have more complex sentence structures and a wider range of vocabulary to convey precise meaning and nuances in your arguments. Make sure also to proofread your text for grammatical accuracy and varied sentence forms.
task achievement
Include specific examples that are directly relevant to the points you are trying to make. This will help support your arguments and make your essay more convincing.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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