IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people believe that the increasing use of computers and mobile phones for communications has had a negative effect on young people’s reading and writing skills. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #computers #phones #communications #effect #people’s #skills
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays, modern
technology
 has been developing and it has changed almost all spheres of our lives. For some individuals,
this
 technological
development
 brings positive results,
whereas
 others consider that it affects the reading and writing abilities of the young generation in a negative way. I partly agree with
this
 statement as
such
 kind of breakthrough in the technological era gives not only educational improvement from one side but
also
 the loss of essential skills for young people. Undoubtedly, today’s discoveries in technological devices and gadgets bring many positive sides. To be specific, personal computers and smartphones have entered our lives instantly, changing and giving
an
Remove the article
apply
show examples
ease in almost everything.
For example
, education in secondary schools for students and teachers has become more simple and easier, using these innovations and computers. Even when there were some restrictions during COVID-19, the educational process did not stop with the help of necessary digital equipment.
Moreover
,
this
development
 of
technology
 and the use of the Internet help young people to adapt even in complicated situations. All
this
 improvement has helped the young generation to develop and stay in the process of studying constantly.
On the other hand
, these technological types of devices as computers and mobile phones have the other side of the coin in terms of negative impact on the
development
 of the youth. Put simply, these kinds of
technology
 do not always have positive results. Take,
for instance
, the reading and writing abilities of the students. If in the past, pupils and students in educational institutions read and write a lot whether it was dictation or lecture, today they are lazier to do it.
Instead
 of writing seminars, young people usually take the ready resource on the Internet and without reading it, they give it to the teacher.
As a result
, these habits for using the new technologies bring a lack of aforementioned skills
such
 as reading and writing. In light of the above, I think that innovations in
technology
 and the usage of modern equipment have many beneficial sides, but simultaneously they have some drawbacks
also
, especially in the
development
 of the young generation.
Submitted by zavkidm on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure the introduction clearly presents your stance and that the conclusion summarises the essay effectively.
coherence cohesion
Develop a more logical and clear paragraph structure to enhance the flow of your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Support your main points with more specific examples and explanations to fully develop your arguments.
task achievement
Fully address all parts of the task to provide a complete response.
task achievement
Present your ideas more comprehensively to effectively explore the implications of your arguments.
task achievement
Use more varied and detailed examples to better illustrate and strengthen your position on the issue.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: