An increasing number of professionals, such as doctors and teachers, are leaving their own poorer countries to work in developed countries. What are the causes of this trend? What solutions can you suggest to deal with this situation? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Your response will be evaluated in terms of Task fulfillment, Organization, Vocabulary, and Grammar.

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It has been universally acknowledged that the majority of professionals

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as doctors and teachers are shifting from their own state to overseas for better work opportunities, and

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issue is escalating at an alarming rate in the current scenario.

This

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has been of depressing magnitude.

Although

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a plethora of reasons are there, some possible measures are

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available to cure

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grave concern. Commencing with the causes, which are responsible for its growth. The first root cause of

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phenomenon is an unstable society and economic crisis. To exemplify, an unstable nation is unable to establish strong welfare for its citizens, which raises both unemployment and crime rates.

Secondly

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, companies and organizations are

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responsible for creating

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situation.

For instance

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, firms with toxic working conditions

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as a lack of facilities, unfriendly co-workers, lower salaries, and so on, are unable to attract dedicated professionals.

As a consequence

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, doctors and teachers want to change their minds

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apply

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and prefer to work in developed countries

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of poor nations. In order to solve

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complex trouble, various solutions can be taken to handle

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menace.

Firstly

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, the government should enact strict laws and policies to stop unethical activities, so that people can feel safe in their own society.

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, companies should provide a better environment to the professionals

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as higher salaries and yearly incentives.

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, individuals will be more productive towards their profession. In conclusion, unquestionably,

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problem has been a burning question of the day.

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, it is not an easy task to tackle

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. The state and human beings should come forward to mitigate

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complex issue.

kinderpreet51Wed Mar 19 2025

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Task Achievement

The introduction clearly states the issue and outlines the themes to be discussed. However, it can be made more concise by removing phrases like 'has been of depressing magnitude', which may not add value. Focus instead on clearly stating the problem and mentioning potential solutions succinctly.

Task Achievement

In the body paragraphs, especially for the causes, consider providing more specific examples or data to strengthen your argument. For instance, cite statistics on professionals leaving their countries. This would enhance the credibility of your points.

Coherence and Cohesion

While the transitions between ideas are generally smooth, there are instances where sentences could be better connected. Using linking phrases could improve the overall flow and coherence of the essay.

Coherence and Cohesion

Try to vary your sentence structures and vocabulary a bit more. While the vocabulary used is appropriate, incorporating a wider range of expressions can elevate the sophistication of the writing.

Task Achievement

Your essay effectively highlights the causes and solutions related to the migration of professionals, demonstrating a clear understanding of the topic.

Coherence and Cohesion

The organization of your essay is logical, with clear separation of ideas into distinct paragraphs. This helps guide the reader through your points effectively.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

12
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

269 words

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Your opinion

Some people think that the best way to solve environmental problems is to increase the cost of fuel for cars and other vehicles. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that by killing someone society is also making a crime, so, that why death penalty should be forbidden. Life in prison would be a better punishment. Do you agree or disagree?

More and more wild animals are on the verge of extinction and others are on the endangered list. What are the reasons for this? What can be done to solve this problem?

In many countires, there are an increasing number of private cars. What are the advantages and disadvtanges of this trend?