An increasing number of professionals, such as doctors and teachers, are leaving their own poorer countries to work in developed countries. What are the causes of this trend? What solutions can you suggest to deal with this situation? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Your response will be evaluated in terms of Task fulfillment, Organization, Vocabulary, and Grammar.

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It has been universally acknowledged that the majority of professionals
such
Linking Words

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as doctors and teachers are shifting from their own state to overseas for better work opportunities, and
this
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

issue is escalating at an alarming rate in the current scenario.
This
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

has been of depressing magnitude.
Although
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a plethora of reasons are there, some possible measures are
also
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available to cure
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

grave concern. Commencing with the causes, which are responsible for its growth. The first root cause of
this
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

phenomenon is an unstable society and economic crisis. To exemplify, an unstable nation is unable to establish strong welfare for its citizens, which raises both unemployment and crime rates.
Secondly
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, companies and organizations are
also
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responsible for creating
this
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situation.
For instance
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, firms with toxic working conditions
such
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as a lack of facilities, unfriendly co-workers, lower salaries, and so on, are unable to attract dedicated professionals.
As a consequence
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, doctors and teachers want to change their minds
,
Remove the comma
apply

It appears that you have an unnecessary comma in a compound predicate. Consider removing it.

show examples
and prefer to work in developed countries
instead
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

of poor nations. In order to solve
this
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complex trouble, various solutions can be taken to handle
this
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menace.
Firstly
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, the government should enact strict laws and policies to stop unethical activities, so that people can feel safe in their own society.
Moreover
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, companies should provide a better environment to the professionals
such
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

as higher salaries and yearly incentives.
Thus
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, individuals will be more productive towards their profession. In conclusion, unquestionably,
this
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

problem has been a burning question of the day.
Therefore
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, it is not an easy task to tackle
this
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. The state and human beings should come forward to mitigate
this
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

complex issue.

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Task Achievement
The introduction clearly states the issue and outlines the themes to be discussed. However, it can be made more concise by removing phrases like 'has been of depressing magnitude', which may not add value. Focus instead on clearly stating the problem and mentioning potential solutions succinctly.
Task Achievement
In the body paragraphs, especially for the causes, consider providing more specific examples or data to strengthen your argument. For instance, cite statistics on professionals leaving their countries. This would enhance the credibility of your points.
Coherence and Cohesion
While the transitions between ideas are generally smooth, there are instances where sentences could be better connected. Using linking phrases could improve the overall flow and coherence of the essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
Try to vary your sentence structures and vocabulary a bit more. While the vocabulary used is appropriate, incorporating a wider range of expressions can elevate the sophistication of the writing.
Task Achievement
Your essay effectively highlights the causes and solutions related to the migration of professionals, demonstrating a clear understanding of the topic.
Coherence and Cohesion
The organization of your essay is logical, with clear separation of ideas into distinct paragraphs. This helps guide the reader through your points effectively.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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