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Band 7

In today's world many people own a smartphone. Do you think the advantage of owning a smartphone outweigh the disadvantages.

#world #people #smartphone #advantage
Mobile
phones
 are an effective means of transmitting, communicating and receiving information. Smartphones can help people in an emergency but they can
also
 be very dangerous when it is used carelessly.
This
 essay will discuss the pros and cons of using mobile
phones
.
To begin
 with, smartphones allow people to access the
internet
 whenever and wherever they want.
This
 figure is critical for
students
 who have difficulty
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
studying at school because the
internet
 offers them a variety of apps and websites
such
 as Qanda, Duolingo, Study4 or Writing9, these platforms work as tools to help
students
 with their homework. What is more, it can benefit the teachers because
students
 may ask about new things that they found on the
internet
 and both
students
 and teachers will learn and discover together. Another part to be considered is that mobile
phones
 improve how we communicate with each other. There is no longer the need to send handwritten letters to the post offices because emails, texting apps like Messenger, Zalo and social platforms
such
 as Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram are now available to everyone. People can share their experiences with their relatives and friends without the limit of distance in a short period of time.
However
,
according to
 studies, staring at the light screen too long can cause vision problems.
Furthermore
, a small amount of electromagnetic radiation from smartphones can
also
 cause headaches and sleeplessness. These issues can be addressed by limiting the time using
phones
 and wearing sunglasses
while
 surfing the
internet
 is highly recommended. In conclusion, everything in
this
 world has both good sides and bad sides of it, even the mobile
phones
.
This
 writer believes that owning a smartphone could have more benefits than drawbacks and
this
 essay has enough pieces of evidence to prove the writer's point of view.
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Task Achievement
While your essay gives a clear overview of the advantages and disadvantages of owning a smartphone, the specific examples could be more effectively integrated into the main body paragraphs to strengthen your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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