Many children are encoraged by their parents to get a part time. What are the advantages and disadvantage to children of doing so?
From the dawn of time, people had to
work
to provide their initial necessities. In today’s climate, the issue of children
getting a part-time job
is a controversial minefield. While
it is rational to accept that a part-time job
can sometimes have a negative effect, it seems that they are more likely to bring benefits.
The main justification why working in a part-time job
would not be fruitful is that it can affect children
’s studies. Due to
having a small window of time and a tight schedule, children
may have not much time to spend on their homework. An illustration of this
fact is a student who is at school until the afternoon, after that, he goes to work
until night. When he gets home, he is too tired to study for exams. Another drawback is the fact that part-time jobs do not have job
security. In case of bad financial situations, the company prefers to rebuild them rather than full-time workers. This
can cause embarrassment to children
, and consequently
, depression and anxiety.
On the other hand
, it could be argued that these disadvantages are not comparable to its merits. The first plus point is that children
can have work
experience by working in a part-time job
. After graduation, they can find work
more easily since employers are looking for job
seekers who are familiar with the workspace. As an example, in the United States, only 10 percent
of the students who had Change the spelling
per cent
job
experience were jobless in 2019. The next benefit is that children
learn how to manage their money. They do not budget when they are spending their parent's money unless it is their hard-earned money. Therefore
, it may prepare them for adulthood life.
What can be concluded from the discussion revolving around children
having a part-time job
is that its merits surpass the possible pitfalls it could bring.Submitted by ashkanmlk80 on
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task achievement
To enhance your task achievement score, ensure your essay fully addresses all parts of the task. While you've covered the advantages and disadvantages, delve deeper into how these aspects specifically impact children. Providing more detailed examples and examining the implications of these advantages and disadvantages on children's lives would make your response more comprehensive.
coherence cohesion
Maintain a logical structure in your essay, but strive for smoother transitions between paragraphs. This will enhance the flow of your essay and make it easier to follow. Consider using a wider range of linking words and phrases to connect your ideas more clearly.
coherence cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your essay is structured well with clear introduction and conclusion sections. However, to further improve, try to vary your sentence structures and use more complex grammatical constructions. This not only increases readability but also demonstrates a higher proficiency in English.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
