In today’s world many people own a smartphone. Do you think the advantages of owning a smartphones outweigh the disadvantages?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Smartphones
Use synonyms
nowadays have become universal with many
people
Use synonyms
in the world.
Although
Linking Words
they may make
people
Use synonyms
not totally focus on
work
Use synonyms
or study, their entertainment and use for communication seem to outweigh the drawbacks. One of
advantageous
Add an article
the advantageous
show examples
aspects of
smartphones
Use synonyms
is that they can bring entertainment for many
people
Use synonyms
. Indeed, life currently is more and more hectic.
Therefore
Linking Words
, many
people
Use synonyms
are usually under an enormous amount of stress.
As a result
Linking Words
,
smartphones
Use synonyms
can be suitable for them with various interesting things to help them alleviate stress. To exemplify, you can watch your favourite videos or play video games with your friends with your phones to escape the long stressful hours at
work
Use synonyms
or study. Another benefit of
smartphones
Use synonyms
is communication. It is true because everyone has
Correct article usage
a needs
show examples
needs
Fix the agreement mistake
need
show examples
for talking
Change preposition
to talk
show examples
with others.
Thus
Linking Words
, these advanced machines are very useful for communicating regardless of long distances. Taking
oversea
Correct your spelling
overseas
show examples
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
for example
Linking Words
, they now can easily get in touch with their parents or friends in the nation
that
Correct word choice
where
show examples
they were born via a smartphone.
However
Linking Words
,
smartphones
Use synonyms
can make
people
Use synonyms
ignore what they are doing. Because they have a lot of entertaining apps, many
people
Use synonyms
can be addicted to them. Thereby, they do not spend an adequate quantity of time
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
their
work
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, Facebook with many fascinating short clips wastes most of their time
to watch
Change the verb form
watching
show examples
these videos, so they do not have enough time to do anything. In conclusion, I am of
my
Change the word
the
show examples
opinion to say that many
people
Use synonyms
can neglect their
work
Use synonyms
if they
over-use
Correct your spelling
overuse
show examples
smartphones
Use synonyms
, but these machines help
they
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
entertain and communicate with their relatives sufficiently.
As a consequence
Linking Words
,
smartphones
Use synonyms
can be very useful for us if we know how to take advantage of them properly.
Submitted by [email protected] on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Make sure that each paragraph has a clear central theme that is expanded upon throughout the paragraph.
coherence cohesion
Consider using a wider range of linking devices and paragraphing to show clear connections between ideas.
coherence cohesion
Always restate your main points in the conclusion to reinforce your argument and clarify your position.
task achievement
Ensure the response fully addresses the prompt by giving equal treatment to advantages and disadvantages within the discussion.
task achievement
Develop ideas further to demonstrate a deeper analysis of the topic, with more varied and specific examples.
task achievement
Make sure examples provided are specific and directly support the point being made instead of general statements. Bring in statistics or real-world instances if possible.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: