In today’s world many people own a smartphone. Do you think the advantages of owning a smartphones outweigh the disadvantages?
Smartphones
nowadays have become universal with many people
in the world. Although
they may make people
not totally focus on work
or study, their entertainment and use for communication seem to outweigh the drawbacks.
One of advantageous
aspects of Add an article
the advantageous
smartphones
is that they can bring entertainment for many people
. Indeed, life currently is more and more hectic. Therefore
, many people
are usually under an enormous amount of stress. As a result
, smartphones
can be suitable for them with various interesting things to help them alleviate stress. To exemplify, you can watch your favourite videos or play video games with your friends with your phones to escape the long stressful hours at work
or study.
Another benefit of smartphones
is communication. It is true because everyone has Correct article usage
a needs
needs
Fix the agreement mistake
need
for talking
with others. Change preposition
to talk
Thus
, these advanced machines are very useful for communicating regardless of long distances. Taking oversea
Correct your spelling
overseas
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
for example
, they now can easily get in touch with their parents or friends in the nation that
they were born via a smartphone.
Correct word choice
where
However
, smartphones
can make people
ignore what they are doing. Because they have a lot of entertaining apps, many people
can be addicted to them. Thereby, they do not spend an adequate quantity of time for
their Change preposition
on
work
. For instance
, Facebook with many fascinating short clips wastes most of their time to watch
these videos, so they do not have enough time to do anything.
In conclusion, I am of Change the verb form
watching
my
opinion to say that many Change the word
the
people
can neglect their work
if they over-use
Correct your spelling
overuse
smartphones
, but these machines help they
entertain and communicate with their relatives sufficiently. Correct pronoun usage
them
As a consequence
, smartphones
can be very useful for us if we know how to take advantage of them properly.Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
Make sure that each paragraph has a clear central theme that is expanded upon throughout the paragraph.
coherence cohesion
Consider using a wider range of linking devices and paragraphing to show clear connections between ideas.
coherence cohesion
Always restate your main points in the conclusion to reinforce your argument and clarify your position.
task achievement
Ensure the response fully addresses the prompt by giving equal treatment to advantages and disadvantages within the discussion.
task achievement
Develop ideas further to demonstrate a deeper analysis of the topic, with more varied and specific examples.
task achievement
Make sure examples provided are specific and directly support the point being made instead of general statements. Bring in statistics or real-world instances if possible.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?