Today social skills are being more and more emphasized by employers. Some people believe that social skills are important besides good qualifications for their job success. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

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Being an employee is focused on not only hard
skills
but
also
on social
skills
these days. Some say that social
skills
are essential for
job
accomplishment,excluding hard
skills
such
as coding, programming, writing, and so on. In my opinion, I have a balanced opinion on
this
issue,to be successful in any
job
position inevitably requires the two. First of all, I agree that having interpersonal
skills
,which means relationship management, conflict resolution, and communication, could encourage success in any career path.
For example
, a manager working in an international company needs to productively communicate with overseas clients including the efficiency of internal communication with a second or third language.
On the other hand
, being an officer or administrator taking care of plenty of routine work might not demand social
skills
that much as most responsibilities interact with operation systems. Another supportive point is that having fewer hard
skills
with more interpersonal experience might be considerably more advantageous rather than having hard
skills
.
For instance
, my ex-boss,who was a manager of the product and marketing team, with more than 20 years of experience in the product distribution field, was promoted to a
further
position faster compared to another who had fewer social
skills
with a number of hard
skills
. Regarding another opposite thought, having only soft
skills
could not completely encourage one' working success as growing up in a higher level role. To exemplify, most
job
descriptions always require at least basically productive hard
skills
,
such
as coding for being a programmer, and basic drawing for architecture, including future advancement in those
job
careers.
To conclude
, I believe that the best way forward is to be good at both the two
skills
. Being good at hard and social
skills
in tandem might facilitate career improvement in the future.
Submitted by phanphetpor on

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While the essay provides a balanced view on the importance of both social and hard skills, it would be beneficial to elaborate more on how these skills complement each other in various job roles. Adding more specific examples could also strengthen your argument.
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There are a few minor grammatical errors and awkward phrasing that could be improved. For instance, 'to be successful in any job position inevitably requires the two' could be rephrased for clarity. Consider proofreading or using tools like Grammarly.
coherence cohesion
Improving the flow between paragraphs and ensuring that each point leads naturally to the next can enhance the coherence of your essay. Transitional phrases can help make the text smoother.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea and that all sentences within the paragraph support this idea. Some sections of the essay seem to digress slightly and could be more tightly focused.
task achievement
The essay tackles both sides of the argument, which shows a balanced and comprehensive approach to the topic.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion summarizes your main points well and emphasizes the importance of both skills succinctly.
task achievement
The use of real-life examples, such as the manager with 20 years of experience, adds a personal touch and makes your argument more relatable.

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    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
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