Some people think that paretnts should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Many people argue that home is the place to teach children to be great members in
citizen
Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
show examples
,
while
others
convinced
Add a missing verb
are convinced
show examples
that it is the job
for
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of
show examples
teachers in
school
. After exploring both viewpoints,
this
essay will suggest that both
of
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apply
show examples
parents
and
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
have
this
role equally.
Parents
are the first reliable people for children to learn so many things since they were
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
kid
Fix the agreement mistake
kids
show examples
. It is undeniable that kids have a tendency to follow
Correct article usage
the behavior
show examples
behavior
Correct article usage
the behavior
show examples
of their
parents
, especially in their golden age at under 5 years old. Linked to
this
fact, the attitude and
value
Fix the agreement mistake
values
show examples
that child
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
learned from their
parents
will
leads
Change the verb form
lead
show examples
on
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to
show examples
how they
life
Replace the word
live
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after
get
Change the verb form
getting
show examples
into
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
school
. When
parents
always say thank you after getting some help,
for instance
,
kid
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kids
show examples
possibly bring
this
habbit
Correct your spelling
habit
to their daily
life
.
On the other hand
, schools become the second home for
child
Add an article
the child
a child
show examples
as they spend numerous of their time in
this place
Fix the agreement mistake
these places
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start
Wrong verb form
starting
show examples
from
kindergarden
Correct your spelling
kindergarten
until senior high
school
.
In here
Change preposition
Here
show examples
, students will not only study
about
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apply
show examples
education but
also
value
Add an article
the value
show examples
of
life
in preparation
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
being part of society.
For example
, In Indonesia,
this
effort might be seen in the program of
school
that
having
Change the form of the verb
has
show examples
a course for character. By doing
this
, understanding of how to be a good member
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
society will be
increase
Wrong verb form
increased
show examples
time
Change preposition
from time
show examples
to time. In conclusion, the first
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
who might influence kids in
value
Correct article usage
the value
show examples
of
life
are
parents
.
Moreover
, schools
also
have
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
important role
to raise
Change preposition
in raising
show examples
the character of children. In my opinion,
parents
and
school
are both necessary in
create
Change the verb form
creating
show examples
kids to be good
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
show examples
in society.
Submitted by joyapakpahan on

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task achievement
Ensure to discuss both views symmetrically and provide equal treatment to each while discussing your own opinion.
task achievement
Develop more relevant and detailed examples to support your arguments effectively.
coherence cohesion
Transition smoothly between ideas and paragraphs to enhance readability and flow.
coherence cohesion
Use a wider range of cohesive devices to link ideas more clearly and avoid repetition.
coherence cohesion
Check for grammatical accuracy and word choice to clarify your position without ambiguity.

Your opinion

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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