People are staying more and more at home, these days. What are the causes and effects.
These days, people show more tendency to be at their residence. Absolutely, some issues are the reason for
such
a decision besides
, this
situation has its own impacts. I will elaborate on the causes and the effects of the mentioned issue in this
essay.
On one
hand, the factors that have inclined citizens to consider such
a preference should be examined. The first element would be the recent progress of the Internet and the coordination of convenient use among individuals. With more details, in past customers used to refer to bank's branches to do their financial works. However
, in the past 20 years, every banking activity such
as depositing or withdrawing, opening and closing accounts or transferring money to others is available only with one
click in your accommodation by the means of internet. The second one
would be the wide access to social media such
as Instagram, Facebook or WhatsApp. Whereby, the necessity of connecting to each other in an abolished way such
as seeing each other in person is uprooted. Moreover
, every person is able to stay at home and communicate with friends and families via smartphones. Hence
, with the vast use of the World Wide Web and convenient access to cell phones, the need to be outside is lessening day by day.
On the other hand
, some detrimental problems should be taken into account that new circumstances can create. One
point would be the citizens' obesity. The scientists elucidated that there is a straight relation between high blood sugar and LDL cholesterol and the absence of daily or routine movements. In addition
, it is crystal clear when the interest in exiting from residence has decreased, the physical activity has been deducted as the same which brings the relevant ailments. Furthermore
, due to
the less participation in social events, the possibility of some mental disorders will incredibly increase. Psychologists proved that depression among personalities who have a less physical and emotional connection with others is strikingly higher in comparison with others. So, corporeal and incorporeal illness may have a relation to being at home more than it should be.
In conclusion, the idea of staying at home even the subject of working distance is becoming more and more popular. But
, profitable factors like convenience must be considered aligned with harmful factors like the following diseases together. In my view, the governments should provide substructures for their people with an easy approach to every governmental and private organisation online and Correct word choice
However
also
encourage them to take part in city's events and entertainment for their health.Submitted by eesa.azim on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure your essay presents a clear structure with distinct paragraphs, including an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph should have a clear central idea and be logically connected to the overall argument of the essay. Avoid long, run-on sentences and attempt to use a variety of sentence structures to enhance clarity and flow.
task achievement
While you have addressed the task by discussing the causes and effects of the increasing tendency to stay at home, you should endeavor to provide more specific examples to support your points. Additionally, the introduction and conclusion could be strengthened with more precise thesis statements and summaries of the main ideas. Ensure all parts of the prompt are addressed thoroughly, with a balance between cause and effect.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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