Details of politicians’ private lives should not be published in newspapers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#politicians’ #lives #newspapers

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Many arguments show that politicians’ personal information should be confidential

instead

of releasing it on social media.

This

essay strongly agrees with

this

suggestion because publishing these details could be harmful to their

lives

, and might infringe on basic human

rights

. First and foremost, publishing political

people

’s private

lives

could negatively affect their

lives

. It means that these

people

can get problems with their mental and physical health if their haters know their address or personal details, and it will be more serious if the journalists try to chase them

while

they are driving, which could lead to a crash or accident.

For example

, Princess Diana in England passed away in a crash

while

she was trying to escape the group of journalists who were chasing her to take her picture and seek information about her personal life.

Furthermore

, it

also

infringes on the basic human

rights

that everyone has as a human.

This

is because they have the

rights

Fix the agreement mistake

right

show examples

to be protected and the right to keep their details.

Thus

, the disclosure of their privacy in newspapers without their agreement can influence their human

rights

For instance

, many Vietnamese politicians cannot have their freedom whenever they hang out with their family because

people

will come to take

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

photo

Fix the agreement mistake

photos

show examples

or record them, which could make them feel uncomfortable and unsafe. Some politicians in

this

country always have bodyguards following them to protect them because some overexcited

people

could harm their safety and their

family

Fix the agreement mistake

families

show examples

. In conclusion, some

people

would like to keep political

people

’s personal

lives

a secret rather than showing them on social media.

This

can protect the government's

people

’s

lives

and ensure that they have human

rights

like other

people

Submitted by halenguyenkhanh2005 on Tue May 02 2023

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Coherence & Cohesion

Ensure a smooth transition between the introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion to further enhance coherence and cohesion. Consider using more varied linking phrases and techniques to connect ideas seamlessly.

Task Achievement

Provide a wider range of perspectives and/or potential counterarguments that could be addressed in the essay. This will demonstrate a more comprehensive understanding of the issue and solidify the Task Achievement score.

Task Achievement

Even though specific examples are provided, ensure they are consistently relevant and directly connected to the main point being argued. This will strengthen the Task Achievement.

Task Achievement

The essay provides a strong opinion and addresses the task effectively by supporting the position that politicians’ personal information should remain confidential.

Coherence & Cohesion

The introduction effectively sets up the argument, and the conclusion reinforces the main idea by summarizing the essay’s key points clearly and adequately.

Task Achievement

Good use of examples, such as the reference to Princess Diana, helps illustrate the point about potential dangers.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

283 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

intrusion
accountability
transparency
sensationalism
privacy
public interest
collateral damage
precedent
responsible journalism
exploitation
democratic processes
media culture
balance

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Details of politicians’ private lives should not be published in newspapers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Your opinion

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message.

Some think that the best way to stay fit is to join gym. while others think doing everyday activities such as walking and climbing stairs is enough. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Shopping is now one of the most popular forms of leisure activity in many countries for young adults. Why is this? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

You are bothered by the amount of trash in your local park.Write a letter to the head of the city park department .In your letter: • Describe the problem with the trash • Explain why it is a problem • Say what you think the city should do.

In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?