IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Museums and art gallaries should concentrate on works that show histroy and culture of their own country rather than works of the other parts in the world. To what extent to do you agree or disagree?

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Many people believe that museums and art galleries ought to be more pay attention
on
Change preposition
to

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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historcal
Correct your spelling
historical

If you don’t want historcal to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

objects of
its
Correct pronoun usage
their

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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 own country rather than showing other
country's
Fix the agreement mistake
countries'

It seems that country's may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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 goods in
it
Correct pronoun usage
them

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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. From my point of
view
Add a comma
view,

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase From my point of view. Consider adding a comma.

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i
Change the capitalization
I

The pronoun I should always be capitalized.

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 strongly agree with
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 statement. I will support
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 view with arguments in the following paragraphs.
Fisrt
Correct your spelling
First

If you don’t want Fisrt to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

and foremost, there is no denying that museums and art halls are
guardian
Change the noun form
guardians

It appears that the subject and the predicate noun in this sentence do not agree in number. Consider making the noun guardian plural.

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 of a nation's heritage. Through showcasing historical and cultural
object
Fix the agreement mistake
objects

It seems that object may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 as artefacts can
mantain
Correct your spelling
maintain

If you don’t want mantain to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

a sense of identity and pride among urban citizens.
Moreover
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, promoting local history and culture
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 can boost tourism and make the visitors
be
Unnecessary verb
apply

The verb be appears to be unnecessary here.

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interested
to
Change the preposition
in

The preposition to after the adjective interested may be incorrect. Consider changing it to another preposition.

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 some backgrounds of the land as visitors often seek authentic experiences and a deeper understanding of the place people are visiting at the moment.
Furthermore
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, focusing on local art and old
story
Fix the agreement mistake
stories

It seems that story may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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 of specific
place
Fix the agreement mistake
places

It seems that place may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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 may contribute to the educational purposes of younger generations like students about their roots and traditions which is imperative for cultural preservation.
Likewise
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 can be an education subject in school so pupils can get to know more about the genuine story. Again, by
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 kind of act, the movements of the younger populations can save the origin of the state and prevent the disappearance of
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 an originality of a nation. To draw the conclusion, placing the genuineness of a land through old objects in different
type
Fix the agreement mistake
types

It seems that type may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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 of buildings can help
state
Correct article usage
the state

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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 to increase the authentic value itself by supporting local parentage to show up in specific
spot
Fix the agreement mistake
spots

It seems that spot may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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.

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coherence cohesion
The essay provides a basic structure but lacks complex sentence formations and varied vocabulary usage, impacting its logical structure and the quality of introduction and conclusion. A higher band could be achieved by constructing more sophisticated sentences and including a more diverse range of vocabulary.
task achievement
While the essay addresses the task, the completeness of the response could be improved by offering detailed arguments and a broader variety of examples to support the main points. Furthermore, linking of ideas within and between paragraphs needs to be clearer to enhance the flow of the essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • guardians of heritage
  • foster
  • sense of identity
  • cultural preservation
  • authentic experiences
  • cross-cultural understanding
  • global perspective
  • artistic styles
  • historical contexts
  • innovation
  • globalized world
  • cultural exchange
  • eclectic collections
  • diverse audiences
What to do next:
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