People living in the 21st century have a better quality of life than the previous centuries. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is argued that
people
’s Use synonyms
quality
of life in the contemporary era has significantly improved compared to the past centuries. From my perspective, I agree with Use synonyms
this
mentioned point, Linking Words
due to
the explanation of the Linking Words
quality
of Use synonyms
education
and medical Use synonyms
services
.
Use synonyms
To begin
with, in the current world, Linking Words
education
plays an important role in strengthening Use synonyms
people
's lives. Use synonyms
Firstly
, many governments in the world tend to highly focus on improving the Linking Words
education
field and consider it as the most important aspect of the country. Use synonyms
Therefore
, it is compulsory for students in a plethora of nations to complete general educational levels, usually from primary school to high school. The explanation for Linking Words
this
point is that Linking Words
education
can enhance Use synonyms
people
's fundamental knowledge and necessary skills from school for getting ready to enter adulthood in the future and being able to live on their own feet. Use synonyms
This
can be seen Linking Words
also
as a direction of many governments to make the country richer because the well-educated class can contribute to the huge budget state. Linking Words
For example
, before the previous period of the 21st century, around the Vietnam War, Vietnamese Linking Words
people
suffered from poor conditions Use synonyms
such
as lack of food, water and no Linking Words
education
. Use synonyms
However
, once the war had ended, Vietnam sharply developed to be the most prosperous nation in the Southeast area in the early 21st century, depending on citizens' access to Linking Words
education
contributed to making the country richer and more powerful by picking up more knowledge on the high technology of agriculture to export rice.
Use synonyms
Furthermore
, the development of medical Linking Words
services
is the focal point to aid Use synonyms
people
to live longer. It is true that health can be seen as the scale of Use synonyms
people
’s Use synonyms
quality
of life. Nowadays, many developed countries Use synonyms
such
as the US have created favourable conditions for families having infants to access medical Linking Words
services
for free. Use synonyms
Thus
, their health can be ensured in strong physics from childhood to being a young adult. Linking Words
Moreover
, it is undeniable that the improvement in medical Linking Words
services
has led to the downward tendency of the facility rate Use synonyms
due to
many infectious viral infections of the past, Linking Words
such
as measles and polio. Because children tend to get vaccinations from an early age to prevent these diseases.
In conclusion, the 21st century has recognized many developments in human society, Linking Words
such
as the higher Linking Words
quality
of Use synonyms
education
and medical Use synonyms
services
which strengthen Use synonyms
people
's Use synonyms
quality
of life.Use synonyms
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coherence cohesion
The essay displays some logical structure; however, transitions between points need to be smoother to enhance the readability. Try to use a variety of linking words effectively.
coherence cohesion
Both an introduction and a conclusion are present in the essay, yet they could be developed further. The introduction can be enriched with a clearer thesis statement, and the conclusion should more decisively reflect on the arguments presented.
coherence cohesion
While main points are supported with information, using a wider range of examples and evidence would better demonstrate the validity of the arguments.
task achievement
The response to the task is adequate, but some parts of the essay may seem generalized. Make sure to respond directly to the question throughout the essay and maintain a clear position.
task achievement
The essay provides clear ideas, but at times they lack depth. Aim for a more comprehensive explanation of each point, which will demonstrate a stronger command of the topic.
task achievement
Specific examples given are appropriate, but they could be expanded upon. Include more detailed illustrations to substantiate your arguments and clarify your points.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.