In today's word many people own a smartphone. Do you think the advantages of owning a smartphone outweight the disadvantages?

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It is true that the majority of
people
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have their own
smartphone
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. Despite some obvious disadvantages of
this
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trend, I believe that those are outweighed by the advantages. On the one hand, there are several benefits of owning a
smartphone
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for themselves in different sides of life. The first one that has made
people
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more convenient in
communication
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communicating
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with others,
smartphones
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enable instant communication through calls, texts, and various messaging apps, connecting
people
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across the globe. Inhabitants can save time by doing more work than used
it
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apply
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for writing a letter
as a result
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.
Additionally
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,
smartphones
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allow
people
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to offer a wide range of entertainment options,
such
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as games, music, videos and social media even for study. Nowadays, parents pay more money to buy
this
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technological device for their children because of those benefits. These advantages seem to be necessary, respectively.
On the other hand
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, there are always
have
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apply
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some drawbacks to owning a
smartphone
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.
Although
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it is true that
people
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have
a
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apply
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plenty of compensation when using
this
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device, it
also
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bring
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brings
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addiction to users. In fact, teenagers are addicted to
this
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equipment all of their free time, they cannot control their feelings and immersed in games, and social media
for example
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.
Moreover
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, owning a
smartphone
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makes
people
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less concentrated on their work. They tend to use
smartphones
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when they are exhausted, during their
lunch time
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lunchtime
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, etc. Undeniably, if
people
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cannot control themselves it would have a negative impact on using
smartphones
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. Taking everything into consideration,
this
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impediment of
smartphones
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can be huge, but in my viewpoint, each person should have their own
smartphone
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to deal with many works.
Therefore
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, on balance, the benefits of owning a
smartphone
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outweigh its drawbacks.
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coherence cohesion
The essay has an overall logical structure, with some clear main points. However, the introduction and conclusion are not fully developed, lacking a strong thesis statement and summarizing the main points respectively. Consider enhancing these sections to clearly present the topic and your position at the beginning, and to concisely reiterate your argument at the end.
task achievement
While the essay addresses the task, the response could be more complete by including a broader range of ideas and examples. The ideas presented need to be developed further to fully explore the advantages and disadvantages of smartphone ownership. Utilize more complex sentence structures and specific evidence to strengthen your argument.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Instantaneous communication
  • Global connectivity
  • Information superhighway
  • Streamlined tasks
  • Multifunctional device
  • Emergency access
  • Digital literacy
  • Health tracking
  • Sedentary behavior
  • Cybersecurity
  • Data encryption
  • Digital detox
  • Screen time
  • E-waste
  • Carbon footprint
  • Sustainable disposal
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