In today's word many people own a smartphone. Do you think the advantages of owning a smartphone outweight the disadvantages?
It is true that the majority of
people
have their own smartphone
. Despite some obvious disadvantages of this
trend, I believe that those are outweighed by the advantages.
On the one hand, there are several benefits of owning a smartphone
for themselves in different sides of life. The first one that has made people
more convenient in communication
with others, Replace the word
communicating
smartphones
enable instant communication through calls, texts, and various messaging apps, connecting people
across the globe. Inhabitants can save time by doing more work than used it
for writing a letter Correct pronoun usage
apply
as a result
. Additionally
, smartphones
allow people
to offer a wide range of entertainment options, such
as games, music, videos and social media even for study. Nowadays, parents pay more money to buy this
technological device for their children because of those benefits. These advantages seem to be necessary, respectively.
On the other hand
, there are always have
some drawbacks to owning a Unnecessary verb
apply
smartphone
. Although
it is true that people
have a
plenty of compensation when using Remove the article
apply
this
device, it also
bring
addiction to users. In fact, teenagers are addicted to Change the verb form
brings
this
equipment all of their free time, they cannot control their feelings and immersed in games, and social media for example
. Moreover
, owning a smartphone
makes people
less concentrated on their work. They tend to use smartphones
when they are exhausted, during their lunch time
, etc. Undeniably, if Correct your spelling
lunchtime
people
cannot control themselves it would have a negative impact on using smartphones
.
Taking everything into consideration, this
impediment of smartphones
can be huge, but in my viewpoint, each person should have their own smartphone
to deal with many works. Therefore
, on balance, the benefits of owning a smartphone
outweigh its drawbacks.Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
The essay has an overall logical structure, with some clear main points. However, the introduction and conclusion are not fully developed, lacking a strong thesis statement and summarizing the main points respectively. Consider enhancing these sections to clearly present the topic and your position at the beginning, and to concisely reiterate your argument at the end.
task achievement
While the essay addresses the task, the response could be more complete by including a broader range of ideas and examples. The ideas presented need to be developed further to fully explore the advantages and disadvantages of smartphone ownership. Utilize more complex sentence structures and specific evidence to strengthen your argument.