In today's world many people own a smartphone. Do you think the advantages of owing a smartphone the disadvantages?
Nowadays, most
people
own a Use synonyms
smartphone
. There are a lot of disadvantages of owning Use synonyms
Use synonyms
smartphone
, one Add an article
a smartphone
clearly
Change the word
clear
example
we can see that many Use synonyms
people
Use synonyms
addictic
to Correct your spelling
addicted
the
Correct article usage
apply
Use synonyms
smartphone
. Fix the agreement mistake
smartphones
However
, owning has Linking Words
much
advantages that can eclipse the disadvantage like facilitating instantaneous communication and accessing Change the quantifier
many
recowrees
of Correct your spelling
records
information
on the Use synonyms
internet
.
The greatest of Use synonyms
Use synonyms
smartphone
as I think that Fix the agreement mistake
smartphones
it
can facilitate instantaneous communication. Because Correct pronoun usage
they
people
often need to connect with others Use synonyms
especially
in the modern world Add the comma(s)
, especially
people
must use the Use synonyms
internet
very usually like nowadays. Use synonyms
For
Linking Words
example
, when we have some problems Use synonyms
while
we control Linking Words
the
transportation we can make a call for help from our families or friends Correct article usage
apply
easilly
.
Another Correct your spelling
easily
the
advantage of owning Correct article usage
apply
Use synonyms
smartphone
I want to mention that mobile Correct article usage
a smartphone
phone
can help Fix the agreement mistake
phones
people
to access Use synonyms
recowrees
of Correct your spelling
records
information
on the Use synonyms
internet
. There Use synonyms
are
too much Change the verb form
is
information
we must receive and it still Use synonyms
continue
Change the verb form
continues
increasing
day by day. Getting all Change the verb form
to increase
those
Correct determiner usage
that
information
is impossible. But the Use synonyms
smartphone
can help us Use synonyms
vey
much Correct your spelling
very
through
finding various Change preposition
by
detail
very fast and through that it Fix the agreement mistake
details
also
can help us complete our work more Linking Words
effective
. Change the word
effectively
Like when
Change preposition
When
student
do homework Fix the agreement mistake
students
sometime
they do not understand something and with Fix the agreement mistake
sometimes
Use synonyms
Add an article
a smartphone
smartphone
they can watch Add a comma
smartphone,
lecture
on Fix the agreement mistake
lectures
youtube
again to Correct your spelling
YouTube
can
understand Verb problem
apply
it
.
Correct pronoun usage
them
However
, owning Linking Words
Use synonyms
smartphone
Correct article usage
a smartphone
also
has some Linking Words
disadvantage
one portrait Fix the agreement mistake
disadvantages
example
Use synonyms
that
many Add a missing verb
is that
people
become Use synonyms
addictic
to it. Because Correct your spelling
addicted
using
Change preposition
of using
Use synonyms
smartphone
so usually Add an article
a smartphone
people
will depend on it and can not detach from it. One Use synonyms
example
that we can easy to see Use synonyms
that
many young Add a missing verb
is that
people
play Use synonyms
game
on Fix the agreement mistake
games
Use synonyms
smartphone
for hours Fix the agreement mistake
smartphones
everyday
and the result Replace the word
every day
that
they become addictic to Add a missing verb
is that
it
, they play Correct pronoun usage
them
game
most of Fix the agreement mistake
games
their
time and do not focus on their study even their Change the word
the
haelth
.
In conclusion, we must agree that owing Correct your spelling
health
Use synonyms
smartphone
has some disadvantages like addicting Fix the agreement mistake
smartphones
Use synonyms
smartphone
. Fix the agreement mistake
smartphones
Linking Words
However
the advantages it Add a comma
However,
bring
to us Change the verb form
brings
such
as facilitating instantaneous communication and accessing Linking Words
recowrees
of Correct your spelling
records
information
on the Use synonyms
internet
can outweigh the disadvantage of it.Use synonyms
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a clear logical structure by organizing it into a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Your essay displays some organization but could be improved by creating more distinct paragraphs with clear topic sentences that lead the argument.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion of your essay should clearly state the topic and summarize your main points. While your essay contains an introduction and a conclusion, both could be clearer and more concise in presenting your thesis and summarizing your argument.
coherence cohesion
Support your main points with precise examples. While you make general statements about the advantages and disadvantages of smartphone use, integrating specific, real-world examples would strengthen your argument.
task achievement
Make sure you fully address the task given. Respond to all parts of the question to ensure a complete response. Your argument tends to focus more on the advantages of smartphones with less development on the disadvantages, potentially leading to an imbalance.
task achievement
Your ideas should be clearly expressed and easy to understand. Aim for clarity in your sentences and use appropriate linking words to help ideas flow. Some grammatical errors and awkward phrasing can make the essay difficult to follow at times.
task achievement
Include specific examples to support your points. This makes your response more convincing. You included an example related to young people gaming, but more detailed and varied examples would improve your essay.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.