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Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Some people get into debt by buying things they don't need and can't afford. What are the reasons for this behaviour? What action can be taken to prevent people from having this problem?

#people #debt #behaviour #action
It is known that sometimes
people
 buy things that are out of their economic possibilities and
this
 can lead them into debt. They usually do
this
 with the intention of being accepted in a group or a community. One possible
way
 to anticipate
this
 behaviour is
trying
Change preposition
by trying
show examples
 to make the person conscious of the amount of money he is wasting. In modern days, becoming part of a group is fundamental to
feel
Wrong verb form
feeling
show examples
 accepted, especially for young
people
. The world is full of
people
 ready to judge the
way
 you live or you dress. It is never easy to be judged, especially for some
people
, that may be insecure and shy. To give an example, a girl might want to buy the latest version of a smartphone or the most trendy purse on the market, just to feel well-seen by her friends or colleagues.
However
, nowadays these items are really expensive and some
people
 have to face an important economic effort to buy them. Young
people
, with their first salaries, may spend more money than they are able to afford, ending up being in debt. It is important to prevent
this
 behaviour, but it is never easy to escape from
this
 attitude by ourselves. One
way
 to avoid
this
 problem is to talk with
someone
. He can be a friend, a parent or maybe a psychologist,
however
, the main point is to find
someone
 who can help you
to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
become conscious of your expenditures.
For instance
, a good try is to share with your parents your debit card account, in
this
way
, they can track the money you spend. In conclusion,
someone
 may spend more than he can afford
due to
 his insecurities, but is fundamental to understand that the best
way
 to prevent the problem is with the help of
someone
 and not just by ourselves.
Submitted by alessandrorepola.repola on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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