IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

It is better to buy just a few expensive clothes, rather than lots of cheaper clothes. Do you agree or disagree?

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There is an argument that preferencing
on
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apply
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expensive
clothes
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 is the best choice
instead
Linking Words
 of buying more low-quality
clothes
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. I really agree with
this
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 statement because spending more budget for expensive
clothes
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 encourages
people
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 to buy for investment and decreases
time
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-consuming in online shopping. Luxurious products offer high-quality materials for long-lasting use and valuable investment. These products had taken
complex
Correct article usage
a complex
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 process, starting from the use of high-quality garments and the step for quality check in the final stage. Because of
this
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, the
clothes
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, worn by the customer, gain the trust
from
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of
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 their consumer and
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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may be wearable for long-
time
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 use. Nike
clothes
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,
for example
Linking Words
, made from good-quality cotton and fabric create satisfaction for the individual, wearing
this
Linking Words
 brand.
In addition
Linking Words
, purchasing expensive
clothes
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also
Linking Words
 benefits
people
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 by saving their budget.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, experiencing
with
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apply
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low-cost
clothes
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 could encourage
people
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 to waste their
time
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due to
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 always visiting online shopping regularly. In general, cheaper
clothes
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 would not be wearable for
long
Add an article
the long
a long
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time
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 period, the users will substitute the new
one
Correct pronoun usage
ones
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 by checking
the
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apply
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online shopping regularly,
such
Linking Words
 as Amazon and Shopee.
As a result
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, they not only spend more
time
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to
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apply
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scrolling the new
clothes
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, but
also
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 lead to unproductive activities.
Therefore
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, spending more budget for branded products can be the solution for the customer to reduce unproductive
time
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, consumed in online shopping. In conclusion, luxurious
clothes
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 are the best option to wear the
clothes
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 for
using
Verb problem
apply
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in long
time
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 period, and
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
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also
Linking Words
keep
Verb problem
allow
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people
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 to save
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
time
Use synonyms
 for shopping.

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coherence cohesion
Please make sure your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. The main ideas should be evident and expanded upon in each paragraph. Your essay shows a good attempt at logical structure, but some points may benefit from further elaboration to enhance clarity.
task achievement
Your task response is generally good as you have addressed the prompt with relevant points. However, more specific examples and a clearer progression of ideas would strengthen your argument and increase the score. Aim to have a very clear position throughout the essay.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • sustainability
  • long-lasting
  • cost-per-wear
  • economical
  • investing
  • ethical manufacturing
  • transparent
  • exclusivity
  • designs
  • mass-produced
  • accessibility
  • budget
  • fast fashion
  • trends
  • maintenance
  • dry cleaning
  • social status
  • psychological implications
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