Some people believe that the art is important to our daily lives, do you agree or disagree?

#people #art #lives

In the contemporary world,

art

has become an indispensable part of our daily lives. I strongly agree that humans can not live without

art

. As a universal form of language,

art

possesses the power to connect people globally together.

This

language transcends over different generations, different ages, and even different times.

For example

, almost every family member in China, from little children to elderly grandparents, can sing along to the songs of Jay Chou, their catchy tunes and lively beats. From appreciating the masterpiece of Leonardo Da Vinci, modern people can stand in the shoes of the artist to understand the emotion that he was keen on expressing during his century. Nothing except

art

would exert the magic to build connections among distinct communities.

Additionally

art

can

also

improve our imagination and

instill

Change the spelling

instil

show examples

constant mental support.

For example

, younger children at school have been encouraged to draw paintings imaginatively, contributing to the

further

development of their right brains. Long-term practice with the right brain will

also

improve the ability of body coordination. Here is the primary reason that children who are good at painting are

also

masters in balanced sports,

such

as snow skiing.

Moreover

, when we feel tired after a busy day, any form of artwork will give us unlimited mental support.

For instance

, the vibrant energy from pop music will always help us unwind and we are sometimes inspired by animated films, the brave characters of which encourage people to chase their dreams fearlessly.

Overall

, I highly consider

art

a necessary part of daily life, considering its tangible and intangible benefits.

Submitted by erminelyu on Tue Jan 09 2024

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Coherence & Cohesion

Your essay shows a good level of logical structure, with an appropriate introduction and conclusion. However, to score higher, ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea and that the transition between paragraphs is smoother.

Task Achievement

While your response addresses the prompt, the task response could be improved by providing a more nuanced argument with a variety of complex structures. Try to expand on the reasons why art is indispensable and demonstrate a wider range of linguistic resources.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

263 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people believe that the art is important to our daily lives, do you agree or disagree?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many believe that being good at a sport is result of talent while others think that it comes from hard work. Discuss both views and give your reasons.

Nowadays, many people have easy access to computers and a large number of children play computer games.

Some employers want to be able to contact their staff all the time including holidays. Do you think the advantages of this are more than its disadvantages?

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?