Some people think that children should be homeschooled when they are very young whioe others think it is better for them to attend a kindergarten. Which do you think is better? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

#people #children #whioe #kindergarten #support

this

day and age, the proponents amicably reckon that toddlers have to definitely be trained through homeschooling;

however

, others strongly believe that preschool plays a crucial role in fostering pupils in terms of social and cognitive skills.

Therefore

, my take on

this

, I personally see eye to eye where a kindergarten is better than the former.

To begin

with, an infant school is able to develop essential social skills, which are high on the list aspect taking into account a kid's capabilities. Children can allocate their time to interact with their peers, learn communication effectively, and collaborate to solve problems.

Moreover

, their knowledge,

such

as empathy and understanding of different perspectives might be fostered together during those activities.

For instance

, they can be adaptable when in the future a formidable issue comes about by engaging society to a solution.

Furthermore

, the facility completely provides an instrumental instrument in cognitive development, which not only stimulates literacy but

also

trains numeracy. It will introduce a tailored curriculum that can be utilized in learning activities. Let's say,

this

approach tends to facilitate toddler's learning to broaden their horizons in terms of critical thinking and problem-solving.

Consequently

this

situation has people get up to a pre-primary school

due to

being able to boost fundamental academic skills.

To sum up

, it is noticeable that if the parents are entirely involved in a formal institution, two positive sides will come up.

Additionally

, in my point of view, I individually agree that those situations will be unavoidable after application.

Submitted by soniandriawan1992 on Thu Aug 01 2024

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Task Achievement

The introduction is clear but could be more concise. It nicely sets up the argument but could benefit from a slightly clearer thesis statement.

Coherence and Cohesion

The essay has a good structure with clear paragraphs, but the transitions between paragraphs could be smoother.

Task Achievement

The main points are generally clear and supported, but some examples and explanations could be more detailed and specific to strengthen the argument.

Coherence and Cohesion

Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea that is directly related to the topic. Some sentences are a bit vague or off-topic.

Task Achievement

The essay addresses both sides of the argument and provides a clear opinion.

Coherence and Cohesion

There is a logical progression of ideas, and each paragraph focuses on a different aspect of the argument.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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13Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

253 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

6.5

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think that children should be homeschooled when they are very young whioe others think it is better for them to attend a kindergarten. Which do you think is better? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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