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Band 6.5

More and more young people use the Internet to socialize. Why do you think young people prefer this way of socializing? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

#people #internet #development
Nowadays, the
Internet
 is the best way to connect with
others
. We only need one gadget to call or message someone,
therefore
, most teenagers prefer to use the
Internet
 to make friends. I believe
this
 is the best positive development because it saves time
as well as
 we connect with
others
 from anywhere.
In addition
, I will discuss the reasons young
people
 use online
sites
 for socializing.
Firstly
, it is good to make friends on social
sites
 because we can connect with them within seconds with the help of the
Internet
.
Therefore
, young
people
 love to chat with new
people
 from anywhere in the world on Instagram or other
sites
 which helps them to build their knowledge
as well as
 learn about diverse cultures.
Secondly
, students prefer to handle social
sites
 for networking and for searching new jobs.
For instance
, on LinkedIn we have various job opportunities around the globe, so new graduates connect with those
people
 and send their resumes which helps them to start their careers.
Moreover
, I believe
this
 is a positive development because of some reasons. The prominent one is that it saves time as young folks can connect with their comrades from home because they do not need to go to another place to meet them.
For example
, they can value Facetime, and online chat to share their feelings with
others
.
Furthermore
, it strengthens the knowledge of the children
while
 they connect with another person who lives in another country which increases their curiosity to learn the moral values from them.
To conclude
, it is a big development to practice the
Internet
 to connect with
others
 as it enhances the knowledge of the citizens
as well as
 provides a wide range of job opportunities.
Therefore
, for their own convenience, the new generation feels happy to chat online.
Submitted by tajinder.panag on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure logical sequencing of ideas throughout paragraphs and maintain clear progression. Use cohesive devices, but avoid overusing them.
task achievement
Expand upon key points, providing a more thorough explanation, and offer more varied, detailed examples to underpin arguments.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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