Children now adays spend a great deal of time watching television, however, television cannot replace the book as a learning tool which is why children are less well- educated today to what extend do you agree or disagree.

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In
this
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modern era,
children
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seek many ways to learn and adapt to new things. Many parents introduce their
children
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to
television
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as a learning source. I completely agree with the fact that
books
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can never be replaced by
television
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as a learning tool.
This
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essay will provide relevant examples and a conclusion to support my views.
Firstly
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,
books
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are made for only one purpose and
that is
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education.
Children
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are introduced to
books
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in their early stage of life because no matter where they study either schools, colleges or universities, they will find
books
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everywhere.
Books
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are irreplaceable and there is no feel without
books
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if someone is learning on
television
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.
For example
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,
children
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learning
alphabet
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the alphabet
show examples
on
television
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might not pay attention to it. On the other side, if they are learning
alphabet
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the alphabet
show examples
from
books
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, they are more likely to concentrate on that.
However
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,
television
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might be a good source if
children
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want to learn poems or maths which requires some sort of imagination. It is not a good idea to introduce
television
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to
children
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in their early
stage
Fix the agreement mistake
stages
show examples
otherwise
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, they won't be able to understand the
books
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.
Television
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can't generate that atmosphere or feel which is generated by the
books
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.
For example
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, if a child is reading something in a book, he / she might get that feeling that can't be experienced on
television
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. In conclusion, I think
television
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is a good source of entertainment which should not be used as a learning tool for
children
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.
Books
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are called human's best friends and the quality of education that
children
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get from
books
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is way too high
as
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apply
show examples
compared to
television
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.
Submitted by tirththakkar23 on

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coherence cohesion
To further enhance the clarity of your essay, consider varying sentence structure more frequently and ensuring that paragraph transitions are smooth and logical. This can help in making your essay flow more naturally.
task achievement
For even more effective task achievement, it's beneficial to explore a slightly wider range of examples and consider including counter-arguments for a more balanced view. This can enrich your essay by showing an understanding of different perspectives.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction and conclusion provide a clear framework for your essay, effectively setting up and summarizing your argument.
logical structure
Your essay demonstrates a good logical structure, with each paragraph focusing on a specific aspect of the argument.
supported main points
You've done well to support your main points with relevant examples, which strengthens the persuasiveness of your essay.
complete response
Your complete response to the essay prompt, alongside your clear and comprehensive ideas, effectively communicates your stance.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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