Children now adays spend a great deal of time watching television, however, television cannot replace the book as a learning tool which is why children are less well- educated today to what extend do you agree or disagree.

In
this
modern era,
children
seek many ways to learn and adapt to new things. Many parents introduce their
children
to
television
as a learning source. I completely agree with the fact that
books
can never be replaced by
television
as a learning tool.
This
essay will provide relevant examples and a conclusion to support my views.
Firstly
,
books
are made for only one purpose and
that is
education.
Children
are introduced to
books
in their early stage of life because no matter where they study either schools, colleges or universities, they will find
books
everywhere.
Books
are irreplaceable and there is no feel without
books
if someone is learning on
television
.
For example
,
children
learning
alphabet
Add an article
the alphabet
show examples
on
television
might not pay attention to it. On the other side, if they are learning
alphabet
Add an article
the alphabet
show examples
from
books
, they are more likely to concentrate on that.
However
,
television
might be a good source if
children
want to learn poems or maths which requires some sort of imagination. It is not a good idea to introduce
television
to
children
in their early
stage
Fix the agreement mistake
stages
show examples
otherwise
, they won't be able to understand the
books
.
Television
can't generate that atmosphere or feel which is generated by the
books
.
For example
, if a child is reading something in a book, he / she might get that feeling that can't be experienced on
television
. In conclusion, I think
television
is a good source of entertainment which should not be used as a learning tool for
children
.
Books
are called human's best friends and the quality of education that
children
get from
books
is way too high
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
compared to
television
.
Submitted by tirththakkar23 on

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coherence cohesion
To further enhance the clarity of your essay, consider varying sentence structure more frequently and ensuring that paragraph transitions are smooth and logical. This can help in making your essay flow more naturally.
task achievement
For even more effective task achievement, it's beneficial to explore a slightly wider range of examples and consider including counter-arguments for a more balanced view. This can enrich your essay by showing an understanding of different perspectives.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction and conclusion provide a clear framework for your essay, effectively setting up and summarizing your argument.
logical structure
Your essay demonstrates a good logical structure, with each paragraph focusing on a specific aspect of the argument.
supported main points
You've done well to support your main points with relevant examples, which strengthens the persuasiveness of your essay.
complete response
Your complete response to the essay prompt, alongside your clear and comprehensive ideas, effectively communicates your stance.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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