Despite health warnings, a large number of people continue to smoke all over the world. Why should we be concerned about this? What solutions would you suggest?

Instead
of health
Fix the agreement mistake
warnings
show examples
warning
Fix the agreement mistake
warnings
show examples
about smoke,
Correct article usage
the
show examples
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
high number of
people
who are
smooking
Correct your spelling
smoking
looking
remaind
Correct your spelling
remained
remain
remind
increasing
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
overseas.
Although
smoking is part of lifestyle, I believe it can
causes
Change the verb form
cause
show examples
some
disease
Fix the agreement mistake
diseases
show examples
and waste money. As can be seen, the
majory
Correct your spelling
majority
people
around the world can do not left
surgeret
Correct your spelling
surgeries
surgery
. It has addicted
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
some
people
who are used
Change preposition
to smooking
show examples
smooking
Correct your spelling
smoking
. A p
surgerd
Correct your spelling
surgery
surged
product
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
might
containing
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contain
be containing
show examples
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
some
danger
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dangerous
show examples
chemicals. when
people
use
Correct pronoun usage
it continously
show examples
continously
Correct your spelling
continuously
, it can
causes
Change the verb form
cause
show examples
worse
diseas
Correct your spelling
disease
diseases
such
as lung cancer, rough cancer, liver diseases, and so on.
Therefore
,
people
are must
awared
Correct your spelling
aware
awarded
award
can know how to control usage
surgared
Correct your spelling
surged
sugared
in their lives.
Furthermore
,
people
who
are smoking
Wrong verb form
smoke
show examples
a lot can
lead to finances
Replace the word
have financial
show examples
problems.
Whereas
, they become addicted
then
can not control themselves and
uncounsios
Correct your spelling
unconscious
will buy a surged.
As a result
, they can not
management
Replace the word
manage
show examples
they
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
own money,
as
Correct word choice
and as
show examples
a
result
Add the comma(s)
result,
show examples
has no money and it has been impact
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
their families. like socio-economic matters,
which
Change preposition
in which
show examples
they can not buy
a food
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food
a portion of food
show examples
to feed themselves or their families. To solve
this
, the government should make tight
regulation
Fix the agreement mistake
regulations
show examples
about
smooking
Correct your spelling
smoking
.
Namely
Add a comma
Namely,
show examples
give high tax which companies that can not
educated
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educate
show examples
consutumer
Correct your spelling
consumer
consumers
as well.
In addition
, the government should
educated
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educate
show examples
society
epseacially
Correct your spelling
especially
young
Correct article usage
the young
show examples
generation about the
caused
Replace the word
causes
show examples
of
smooking
Correct your spelling
smoking
during curriculum at school.
For
Change preposition
In
show examples
my personality, smoking is no more
danger
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dangerous
show examples
as long as they can
known
Change the form of the verb
know
show examples
to
arrangement
Replace the word
arrange
show examples
it at balance.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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coherence cohesion
Your essay lacks a clear and coherent structure. It is difficult to follow your arguments because they are not well-developed, and there are multiple grammatical errors that disrupt the flow of information. Consider organizing your essay into clear paragraphs, each with a single main idea that is supported by examples or explanations.
task achievement
You have attempted to address the task, but your response is incomplete and unclear. It is essential to present a clear opinion or answer to the question in the introduction and then expand your ideas with relevant examples and explanations in the body paragraphs. Work on maintaining a clear focus throughout the essay, distinctly addressing both parts of the task.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Addiction
  • Cardiovascular disease
  • Chronic obstructive pulmonary disease (COPD)
  • Nicotine
  • Public health initiative
  • Secondhand smoke
  • Substance abuse
  • Tobacco cessation
  • Environmental degradation
  • Social norms
  • Healthcare burden
  • Preventive measures
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