in today's world many people own a smartphone. Do you think the advantage of owwning a smartphone outweigh the disadvantage?

In
this
contemporary era, everyone has a mobile
phone
. A number of adolescents have their own personal smartphones. It provides immense knowledge to youngsters. But, spending a large amount of time using smartphones can lead to health problems.
This
writer will discuss its advantages and disadvantages in the following paragraphs.
firstly
, in the era of technology, everyone has a smartphone. It has many advantages
such
as teenagers can learn many things regarding their studies. They can get deeper knowledge about any particular topic in an easy way.
Secondly
, they can learn many languages through the internet.
For example
, most children play online
games
such
as
games
interstate in which kids communicate with other players from other countries. It helps them to improve their communication skills.
On the other hand
, there are some disadvantages
such
as students spending lots of their time playing
games
instead
of studying.
Then
their performance in studies degrades.
Moreover
, they do not play outdoor
games
. They spend lots of their time playing online
games
which increases health diseases
such
as obesity,
eye
Correct word choice
and eye
show examples
problems.
For instance
, the radiation and rays of mobile phones are really bad for health.
To conclude
, everybody has a mobile
phone
. It has advantages
such
as providing information to the students regarding studies. It has
also
some disadvantages
such
as using an excess mobile
phone
can lead to obesity. One should use
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
mobile
phone
with a limit.
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coherence cohesion
Ensure a balanced discussion on both sides of the argument, with clear topic sentences that outline the main ideas. Keep paragraphs focused and cohesive, using a range of linking words effectively.
task achievement
Address all parts of the task by providing a clear and relevant response to the question posed. Develop main points fully with appropriate detail and example where possible.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
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