It is better to buy just a few expensive clothes, rather than lots of cheaper clothes. Do you agree or disagree?

Buying the

clothes

Use synonyms

can be a difficult decision. People have to look at their budget limit before going

Change preposition

apply

show examples

shopping.

However

Linking Words

, there are some individuals who

thinks

Change the verb form

think

show examples

that purchasing a small number of expensive

clothes

Use synonyms

is a better decision than buying too many cheap

clothes

Use synonyms

. I strongly disagree with

this

Linking Words

statement, and in

forth-coming

Correct article usage

the forth-coming

show examples

paragraphs

Add a comma

paragraphs,

show examples

I am briefly discussing both of the

point

Change to a plural noun

points

show examples

views

Fix the agreement mistake

view

show examples

. First and foremost, some folks are more concerned about their dresses

Correct quantifier usage

apply

show examples

than anything else. Luxury attires

grooms

Change the verb form

groom

show examples

their personality and make them look like of higher rank.

However

Linking Words

, elite people can easily afford these

clothes

Use synonyms

. But when it comes to someone who has a very limited budget. It will be not possible for him to buy these dresses.

For instance

Linking Words

, someone who has a low salary and living his/her life from hand to mouth. When

this

Linking Words

kind of person buys expensive garments even if not many; it will be difficult for him to manage the other things.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, buying cheaper

clothes

Use synonyms

has many advantages.

Person

Add an article

The person

A person

show examples

will buy lots of

clothes

Use synonyms

also

Linking Words

it will be

budget friendly

Add a hyphen

budget-friendly

show examples

too. In the modern world, we have too many options when it comes to choosing garments. There are

lot

Change the article

a lot

show examples

of cheaper options available in the market.

Moreover

Linking Words

, these shops and stores are offering good quality

clothes

Use synonyms

Change preposition

show examples

far

less

Fix the agreement mistake

lower

show examples

prices. Some outlets

also

Linking Words

give attractive discounts to customers. Most importantly, people have a lot of options to choose

Change preposition

from.

show examples

They can buy multiple

clothes

Use synonyms

and change their style on

daily

Correct article usage

a daily

show examples

basis.

To conclude

Linking Words

, both expensive and cheap

clothes

Use synonyms

have their own pros and cons. But in my

opinion

Add a comma

opinion,

show examples

person will have to consider their

expanses

Correct your spelling

expenses

show examples

first

while

Linking Words

buying

clothes

Use synonyms

before anything. Because everyone

have

Change the verb form

has

show examples

other mandatory

expanses

Correct your spelling

expenses

show examples

as well.

Therefore

Linking Words

, opting for

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

cheaper

clothes

Use synonyms

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

far

Change the word

apply

show examples

better than purchasing luxurious dresses.

araibbutt93

Jan 10, 2024

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coherence cohesion

To improve logical structure, ensure that ideas are presented in a clear, logical order. Use transition words to help guide the reader from one idea to the next. Avoid jumping from one concept to another without clear connections.

coherence cohesion

While an introduction and conclusion are present, work on refining them so they effectively frame the essay. The introduction should clearly address the essay question, and the conclusion should succinctly summarize the main points without introducing new information.

coherence cohesion

Support main points with more detailed and specific development. Use clear topic sentences for each paragraph, followed by explanations and examples that are directly related to the thesis statement.

task achievement

In terms of task achievement, ensure that the essay directly and completely addresses the question posed. Take care to fully develop your argument as required by the task, without straying off-topic.

task achievement

Your ideas are fairly clear, but to achieve a higher score, develop them more comprehensively. Expand on your points with in-depth analysis, and make sure each paragraph contributes to your overall argument.

task achievement

Include more relevant, specific examples to support your argument. These examples should be directly linked to the essay question and demonstrate a clear understanding of the topic.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
22
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

307 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

sustainability
long-lasting
cost-per-wear
economical
investing
ethical manufacturing
transparent
exclusivity
designs
mass-produced
accessibility
budget
fast fashion
trends
maintenance
dry cleaning
social status
psychological implications

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Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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Countries are becoming more and more similar because people are able to buy the same products anywhere in the world. Do you think is a positive or negative development?

Some people say that the Internet is responsible for destroying social skills of teenagers and young adults. What impact does the internet have on the social skills of teenagers and young adults and what can be done to make sure that it does not harm their social development?