Some people who have been in prison become good citizens later. Some say that these are the best people to talk to school students about the dangers of committing a crime? Do you agree or disagree?

#people #prison #citizens #say #school #students #dangers #crime

Some people opine that ex-convicts who have become good citizens are the best educators to teach the younger generation at schools about the negative sides of committing a crime. They can be a speaker to share their real-

life

consequences

due to

being in prison and inspire the

students

to make positive choices in

life

. In

this

essay, I will discuss why I strongly agree with the statement.

To begin

with, ex-prisoners who have changed to being good people are supposed to be the best choice to educate youngsters on the cost repercussions of getting into jail. Sharing the realistic and authentic experiences they have been through

while

becoming prisoners can enrich the knowledge of the youth on how it felt to stay for a long

time

in prison. They can

also

raise awareness among the youth to not engage in criminal

crimes

because it will waste their

time

to enjoy their lives and reach their dreams. Getting trapped in small places without any communication and connections to the outside is the worst way to spend their golden

time

life

For example

, In Vietnam, former prisoners who are having good

behaviors

Change the spelling

behaviours

show examples

after being released from jail are offered to warn teens about the potential risks of committing

criminals

Replace the word

crimes

show examples

and how it has an awful impact on their lives.

As a result

, the rate of

crimes

in the country is incredibly low.

Furthermore

, The former convicts can advise the

students

on how their way to overcome their past and make positive choices in

life

. As individuals seasoned, they are more mature with the enriched

life

learning they have had all

this

time

. It can give a new perspective on how to make a good decision to have a better future.

Students

can get fresh learning from adults who have had the worst moments in their lives.

For instance

, the former offender in Vietnam

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

advised the younger generation at school to stay away from

crimes

and prioritize their dreams. Most of the

students

are contented in hearing the good words from people who have committed

crimes

in the past.

Therefore

, it can trigger them to make a good choice in their

life

. In conclusion, education about moral values from former criminals who have been good residents should be encouraged because it can give the

students

a fresh hand learning based on the real experiences of the ex-prisoners.

Submitted by nurulfitriakamilah on Wed Jan 10 2024

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Coherence & Cohesion

Ensure that paragraphs have a clear central topic and the ideas within paragraphs flow smoothly from one to the next through the use of appropriate paragraphing and cohesive devices like linking words or phrases.

Coherence & Cohesion

Support main points with a range of appropriate examples. Develop arguments and ideas fully to ensure the reader can clearly understand the points being made.

Task Achievement

Address all parts of the task presented and provide a clear position throughout the response. Give well-supported and developed ideas that answer the prompt directly.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

395 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

rehabilitation
crime deterrence
authenticity
consequences
criminal justice system
incarceration
recidivism
inspire
glamorize
professional educators
law enforcement officers
second chances
personal growth
relatability
appropriateness

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Some people who have been in prison become good citizens later. Some say that these are the best people to talk to school students about the dangers of committing a crime? Do you agree or disagree?

Include an introduction and conclusion

In many parts of the world, people rely on private cars for transportation. In what ways does reliance on private cars affect the way we live? Do the effects tend to be positive or negative?

Nowadays more and more older people who need employment have to compete with younger people for the same jobs. What problems does this cause? What are the solutions?

Air traffic is increasingly leading to more noise, pollution, and airport construction. Some people say that government should try to reduce air traffic by taxing it more heavily. Do you agree or disagree?

In some countries, using the internet in schools is getting more popular. In this a positive or negative development?

Some people believe that teenagers should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time. This can benefit teenagers and the community as well . To what extent do you agree or disagree?