Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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Many people suggest that the extinction of particular animals and plants is the main environmental issue that humans have to face nowadays,

while

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others believe that there is

Add an article

a more

show examples

important problem that we need to tackle about

the

Correct article usage

apply

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nature

such

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as global warming

as well as

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air pollution.

However

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, I agree with the second statement and both

view

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views

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will be discussed in

this

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essay. On the one hand, the loss of animal and plant

species

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is considered the main problem of nature because of its negative impact on our biodiversity.

For example

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, if a wild animal

species

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such

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lion

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a lion

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or tiger were extinct, the other

animal

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animals

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would

also

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be affected because

these two kind

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this two kind

these two kinds

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of animals play a huge role in

ecosystem

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the ecosystem

an ecosystem

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as they always hunt other

species

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to reduce the number of

animal

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animals

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Hence

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, losing a particular animal can cause

imbalance

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an imbalance

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in the ecosystem. Another fundamental

conquence

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consequence

is the decrease of food and oxygen.

Human

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Humans

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need meat from animals to eat and plants to live so a number of meat is produced every day to meet their demand

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for

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eating. But if these two conditions were lost, people might have to live under the poverty line.

On the other hand

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, there are more urgent environmental issues than the loss of plant and animal

species

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. It is undeniable that our mother earth

are

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facing global warming and

also

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its negative

conquences

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consequences

Firstly

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, the population density

are

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rising rapidly today and each person has their own vehicle using

leader

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leaded

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petrol.

This

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is the main reason

lead

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leading

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to air pollution and a warmer earth.

Moreover

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, ozone layer depletion is stemmed from the waste from many industries and

transportations

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transportation

show examples

. As we know, the sun is our lives, we can’t live without the light of the sun. If

ozone

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the ozone

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layer is depleted wider, the blue light from the sun will affect people’s lives and it can

also

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lead to the death of

human

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humans

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. In conclusion,

although

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the reduction of wildlife

species

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is a serious problem, I believe that weather

pattern

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patterns

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should

also

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be more

concerned

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concern

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from

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for

show examples

the people and government.

nguyencamnhiWed Jan 10 2024

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coherence cohesion

Your essay lacks a fully developed logical structure, as some ideas are not clearly expanded upon. Work on creating more comprehensive paragraphs by ensuring each paragraph contains a clear main idea, expands on that idea with adequate explanation or analysis, and provides specific examples or evidence.

coherence cohesion

You did present an introduction and a conclusion, which is good. However, the correlation between them could be strengthened by restating key points and ensuring that your opinion is clear in both. Refine your essay by starting with a stronger thesis statement and concluding with a definitive stance that summarizes your discussion.

task achievement

You have attempted to support your main points with explanations and examples. However, some examples, such as the generic reference to 'lion or tiger,' lack specificity and do not convincingly support your argument. Provide more detailed examples that are directly relevant to your main points to enhance the persuasiveness of your essay.

task achievement

While you have addressed the task and presented ideas related to the topic, your arguments and examples need to be more developed to achieve completeness in response. Be sure to fully address all parts of the prompt and provide more in-depth discussion on both views before giving your own.

task achievement

Your ideas are somewhat clear, but they lack comprehensiveness. To improve, focus on clarifying your main arguments and providing detailed explanations for them. Avoid making broad statements without backing them up with concrete information or research, as this will help your essay to more fully cover the topic in a compelling manner.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
23
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

347 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

biodiversity
extinction
habitat loss
ecosystem
food chain
imbalance
interconnected
climate change
pollution
personal actions
policy changes
education
awareness

What to do next:

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