Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #time #loss #species #plants #animals

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Many people suggest that the extinction of particular animals and plants is the main environmental issue that humans have to face nowadays,

while

Linking Words

others believe that there is

Add an article

a more

show examples

important problem that we need to tackle about

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

nature

such

Linking Words

as global warming

as well as

Linking Words

air pollution.

However

Linking Words

, I agree with the second statement and both

view

Change to a plural noun

views

show examples

will be discussed in

this

Linking Words

essay. On the one hand, the loss of animal and plant

species

Use synonyms

is considered the main problem of nature because of its negative impact on our biodiversity.

For example

Linking Words

, if a wild animal

species

Use synonyms

such

Linking Words

lion

Correct article usage

a lion

show examples

or tiger were extinct, the other

animal

Fix the agreement mistake

animals

show examples

would

also

Linking Words

be affected because

these two kind

Change the determiner

this two kind

these two kinds

show examples

of animals play a huge role in

ecosystem

Add an article

the ecosystem

an ecosystem

show examples

as they always hunt other

species

Use synonyms

to reduce the number of

animal

Change to a plural noun

animals

show examples

Hence

Linking Words

, losing a particular animal can cause

imbalance

Add an article

an imbalance

show examples

in the ecosystem. Another fundamental

conquence

Correct your spelling

consequence

is the decrease of food and oxygen.

Human

Fix the agreement mistake

Humans

show examples

need meat from animals to eat and plants to live so a number of meat is produced every day to meet their demand

Change preposition

for

show examples

eating. But if these two conditions were lost, people might have to live under the poverty line.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, there are more urgent environmental issues than the loss of plant and animal

species

Use synonyms

. It is undeniable that our mother earth

are

Change the verb form

show examples

facing global warming and

also

Linking Words

its negative

conquences

Correct your spelling

consequences

Firstly

Linking Words

, the population density

are

Change the verb form

show examples

rising rapidly today and each person has their own vehicle using

leader

Correct your spelling

leaded

show examples

petrol.

This

Linking Words

is the main reason

lead

Wrong verb form

leading

show examples

to air pollution and a warmer earth.

Moreover

Linking Words

, ozone layer depletion is stemmed from the waste from many industries and

transportations

Fix the agreement mistake

transportation

show examples

. As we know, the sun is our lives, we can’t live without the light of the sun. If

ozone

Add an article

the ozone

show examples

layer is depleted wider, the blue light from the sun will affect people’s lives and it can

also

Linking Words

lead to the death of

human

Fix the agreement mistake

humans

show examples

. In conclusion,

although

Linking Words

the reduction of wildlife

species

Use synonyms

is a serious problem, I believe that weather

pattern

Fix the agreement mistake

patterns

show examples

should

also

Linking Words

be more

concerned

Replace the word

concern

show examples

from

Change preposition

for

show examples

the people and government.

Submitted by nguyencamnhi on Wed Jan 10 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion

Your essay lacks a fully developed logical structure, as some ideas are not clearly expanded upon. Work on creating more comprehensive paragraphs by ensuring each paragraph contains a clear main idea, expands on that idea with adequate explanation or analysis, and provides specific examples or evidence.

coherence cohesion

You did present an introduction and a conclusion, which is good. However, the correlation between them could be strengthened by restating key points and ensuring that your opinion is clear in both. Refine your essay by starting with a stronger thesis statement and concluding with a definitive stance that summarizes your discussion.

task achievement

You have attempted to support your main points with explanations and examples. However, some examples, such as the generic reference to 'lion or tiger,' lack specificity and do not convincingly support your argument. Provide more detailed examples that are directly relevant to your main points to enhance the persuasiveness of your essay.

task achievement

While you have addressed the task and presented ideas related to the topic, your arguments and examples need to be more developed to achieve completeness in response. Be sure to fully address all parts of the prompt and provide more in-depth discussion on both views before giving your own.

task achievement

Your ideas are somewhat clear, but they lack comprehensiveness. To improve, focus on clarifying your main arguments and providing detailed explanations for them. Avoid making broad statements without backing them up with concrete information or research, as this will help your essay to more fully cover the topic in a compelling manner.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
23
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

347 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

biodiversity
extinction
habitat loss
ecosystem
food chain
imbalance
interconnected
climate change
pollution
personal actions
policy changes
education
awareness

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5.5
band
Some people say that what individuals do to protect cannot make difference, others say that individuals can protect environment. Discuss both these view and give your opinion.
A controversial discussion point is whether individuals can have a positive impact on the environment. This writer believes that the environment can be protected due to the reduction in industry and investment in public transportation.
6
band
Nowadays people prefer to shop in large supermarkets rather than nearby local shops, why do you think this is happening?is this a positive or negative trend
In today's society, buying accessories and kinds of stuff from large supermarkets is getting more popular rather than from the local shop. In order to examine both sides of this contentious issue, I will also offer my own perspective in the following paragraph paragraphs.
5.5
band
In many countries, the number of animals and plant declining? Why do you think this is happening? How can this issue be solved?
It is an alarming fact that there has been a sharp decline in the number of plants and animals in many countries recently. There are many reasons for this problem to be the case, but also a lot of solutions to this.
5
band
in many countries around the world ,rural people are moving to cities,so the population in the countryside is decreasing. do you think this is a positive or a negative development?
These days, people are becoming more and more interested to urban life ,so a large group of people who lived in rural areas are starting new life in big cities and it causes to have a decrease in rural's population.I think it can have some negative effects for countries ,and in this essay i will explain more my reasons with examples.
<4
band
Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal . Some people , however , think that other types of progress are equally important for a country . Discuss both these views and give your own opinion ?
Many governments beleive that key success of country is economic growth while some people critisize that for the progress of country other kinds of development are also necessary . I agree with this notion , Although without better economy country could not make progress but government must not ignore other prime factors. For example , health advancement ,cultural progress and social values .On one hand , Goverments of every nation try to boost the economy . Finance is the key factor for every country's progress .when economy makes growth it rises the status of country in the world .

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people say that what individuals do to protect cannot make difference, others say that individuals can protect environment. Discuss both these view and give your opinion.

Nowadays people prefer to shop in large supermarkets rather than nearby local shops, why do you think this is happening?is this a positive or negative trend

In many countries, the number of animals and plant declining? Why do you think this is happening? How can this issue be solved?

in many countries around the world ,rural people are moving to cities,so the population in the countryside is decreasing. do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal . Some people , however , think that other types of progress are equally important for a country . Discuss both these views and give your own opinion ?