The government spending a lot of money to discover life on other planets. Some people think that government is wasting money and should spend more money addressing the problems of public. To what extent do you agree?
In recent years, the allocation of substantial financial resources by governments worldwide towards the
exploration
of life on other planets has sparked considerable debate/ нэлээн маргаан дагуулж байна/. While
some argue that these fundings
need to be allocated for solving essential social Replace the word
funds
issues
. In
my perspective, I believe that Change preposition
From
exploration
of other planets and astronomy is vital, however
, the expenditure from government
should not adversely affect the budget designated for tackling public societal and environmental concerns.
Add an article
the government
Firstly
, humans need to survive in case any catastrophic event occurs on Earth. Therefore
, an increasing number of researchers have been exploring outer space and searching for other planets as potential living opportunities. Exploring this
opportunity requires special equipment, laboratories, and specialists, and this
is why the government
spends a lot of money on this
research. For example
, NASA, a massive government
-funded organization in the US, plays crucial
role in global space Add an article
a crucial
exploration
. It consistently presents new experiments and innovations for the benefit of humanity.
On the other hand
, the government
needs to address social issues
, as many people worldwide are suffering from fundamental human needs like poverty, famine, and homelessness. Moreover
, environmental issues
should be concerned by the government
, such
as air, water and soil pollution that are facing challenges to the
humanity in recent years. As long as humans inhabit/live the world, we must be responsible for our surroundings and the well-being of future generations. Correct article usage
apply
Hence
, the
certain percentage of Correct article usage
a
public
budget Correct article usage
the public
need
to Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
allocate
Wrong verb form
be allocated
for
Change preposition
to
the
social and environmental Correct article usage
apply
issues
.
To conclude
, both arguments are valid and policy makers need to have careful consideration. While
I consider the exploration
of airspace and astronomy to be essential, it is imperative that the government
allocates funds for the advancement of this
field. However
, such
expenditures should not compromise the budget earmarked for addressing societal and environmental issues
, including poverty, famine, and contaminant surroundings.Submitted by zayashdee on
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task achievement
Your essay presents a clear stance on the issue and maintains relevance throughout, showing a balanced view of the topic which is required for a higher band. However, your argumentation could be enhanced by discussing counterarguments in more depth and presenting more precise examples. Ensure that each paragraph expands on a central idea, and that the essay progresses logically from the introduction through the main body to the conclusion.
coherence cohesion
The overall structure of the essay is clear, with a sensible introduction and conclusion. However, there is room for improvement in the way ideas are organized and linked. Use a wider range of cohesive devices and vary your sentence structures to improve logical progression. This includes explicit markers for your main points and transitions that guide the reader through your argument effectively. Aim for a mix of complex and simple sentences to clearly articulate your ideas.