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Band 6

In some countries younger people are neglacting their right to vote. What problems does this cause and what are some of the possible solutions?

#countries #people #right #vote
Political leaders in developed or developing countries are elected through the voting method. Youth, in these times, are not well informed about their right to vote and neglect to perform
this
 procedure.
This
 could happen
due to
 a lack of awareness, which in turn can end up in a wrong selection of the
government
.
Firstly
, when the young generation ignores participating in
government
 selection programs, they are not only missing out on an opportunity to bear benefits but
also
 getting trapped in a false system.
Additionally
,
this
also
 means they will have more complaints about how things would work around them.
That is
 the reason, most of the youth migrate to different countries like Europe, and France where they feel more valued
due to
 the
government
 programs and schemes to nurture and help youth.
Moreover
, if there is awareness raised amongst
this
 generation, they would have more information about how essential it is to vote. Campaigns, seminars,
Correct word choice
and advertisement
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 can be arranged to educate them regarding the election system. Making voting more accessible and convenient for young people can
also
 help them. Regardless of having them taught all about voting rights in school, more and more knowledge should be given to them as they are the present and future contributors to the country's bureaucracy.
To sum up
 the whole idea, youngsters play a vital role in framing a nation's
government
.
Therefore
, they should be encouraged at home, and at school to practice their voting rights efficiently.
This
 will have satisfactory results of how a country operates.
Submitted by nanwanichandni on

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Task Achievement
The essay addresses the question and provides a clear position throughout, but the main ideas are rather underdeveloped. There is a need to expand on how exactly the neglect to vote by the younger generation leads to the problems mentioned and elaborate on the solutions in more detail.
Coherence & Cohesion
The essay has a basic structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the logical flow between ideas could be improved. Ideas need to be more clearly linked within and across paragraphs. To achieve greater coherence, use a wider range of cohesive devices and ensure paragraphing reflects clear organization of ideas.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • democratic process
  • political instability
  • skewed representation
  • governance
  • erosion
  • civic education
  • alienation
  • policy-making
  • accessible
  • incentives
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