In many countries crime rates among teenagers are higher than among other age groups. What are the causes of this problem and what can be done to solve it ?
Teenagers
refer to the people within the age group of 13-18. This
age group is also
often defined as the transitional period
between childhood and adulthood. During this
period
in which teenagers
encounter lots of inevitable changes
in their bodies and emotions, there occurs a tendency for them to rebel against their parents,
or any adults in power. Remove the comma
apply
This
rebellious phase leads into
lots of them getting involved in concerning activities, including crimes. There are several possible reasons Change preposition
to
on
why Change preposition
apply
this
phenomenon becomes
a trend amongst youth all around the world.
Wrong verb form
has become
Firstly
, as mentioned previously, the teenage phase involves lots of drastic changes
in their bodies, emotions, and way of thinking. It is a no-brainer that these changes
lead into
confusion and fear of what's Change preposition
to
occuring
to them. Correct your spelling
occurring
Although
there are few exceptions in which a kid has had a mature mindset ever since they were young, in most cases, when kids reach this
age of changes
, they feel powerful. As they are letting go of the 'child' label, they suddenly view the world as something they completely understand. They think they know what's right and what's wrong, when in fact, they don't. Fix the agreement mistake
change
This
leads to mindless actions
.
Secondly
, they are short-minded. During the adolescence period
, they suddenly gain access to things
that they were hindered from in the past, such
as privacy, social media, and so on. Side to
side with their sense of Change preposition
by
powerfulness
, they tend to forget that all their Replace the word
power
actions
have consequences. Their transition period
lead
them to be associated with adults, but they actually do not fully comprehend the concept of responsibilities, yet. Change the verb form
leads
Hence
, they ended up prioritizing actions
over thinking.
Lastly
, teenagers
are curious. Going from a child into a young adult sparks endless questions in one's mind. Curiosity is a double-edged sword. In
times, curiosity can be a good thing. Change preposition
At
However
, without proper guidance and a lack of sense on
consequences, it leads to irresponsible Change preposition
of
actions
. Most teenagers
validate their decisions on trying
out new Change preposition
to try
things
, including criminal activities, for the sake of feeding up their curiosities.
To summarize, the teenage phase involves drastic changes
in teenager's
bodies, emotions, and Fix the agreement mistake
teenagers'
mindset
. During Fix the agreement mistake
mindsets
this
period
of time, they are still unable to differentiate between the wrongs and the rights, they have not grasp
the concept of consequences in every Change the verb form
grasped
actions
yet, and they have the tendency Change to a singular noun
action
of feeding
up their Change preposition
to feed
curiousity
through mindless decisions. These Correct your spelling
curiosity
things
lead into
inexcusable activities like crimes. Sure, Change preposition
to
this
transitional period
cannot be avoided. However
, there are several ways that may prevent teenagers
from getting involved into
the criminal world, Change preposition
in
such
as providing approriate
guidance, maintaining good communication to know their ways of thinking better, and teaching them the correct ways of living without hindering their freedom of Correct your spelling
appropriate
choices
and privacies. By implementing all these Fix the agreement mistake
choice
things
, hopefully, the crime rates amongst
Change preposition
among
teenagers
can be minimized.Submitted by writingielts0 on
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coherence cohesion
Introduction and conclusion are present, but they need to be more impactful and focused on the essay question.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that the main body paragraphs are clearly separated and discuss individual ideas to improve the logical structure.
coherence cohesion
Support your main points with specific examples to strengthen your arguments.
task achievement
Address all parts of the task with equal development to ensure a complete response to the question.
task achievement
Present and expand on ideas to demonstrate an understanding of the topic with more depth and clarity.
task achievement
Use real-world examples or hypothetical situations to provide evidence for the causes and solutions of the problem.
Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic
Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.
You essay structure should look something like this:
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – Problems
- Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- One of the first problems of the...
- Another problem that needs to be considered...
- A possible solution to this problem would be...
- One immediate practical solution is to...