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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

More and more people prefer to read e-books rather than paper books. What are the reasons for this? What problems can this cause for libraries?

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In the cutting-edge era, more and more readers prefer electronic
books
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instead
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 of print
books
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.
This
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 tendency tends to mitigate the number of
people
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 borrowing sorts of reading in
libraries
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 and
this
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 is facing to close down services as
people
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 would like to use a wide range of devices, which can be convenient and engaging.
This
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 essay will outline the
reasons
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 and problems of
libraries
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.
First,
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one of the major
reasons
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 is to be convenient. Many readers have experienced spending time on electronic devices
such
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 as tablets or laptops because it is more handy for them whenever in need.
Second,
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another reason is engagement.
For instance
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, some psychologists claimed that tech products have been promoted for a few decades, and
this
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 could encourage the large number of readers, who used to read bibliographies for their work or study.
Therefore
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,
this
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 is more likely to bring out some
reasons
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 about
people
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 choose e-
books
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instead
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. Following the aforementioned
reasons
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, some problems would be coming.
To begin
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 with, some
libraries
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 may decrease the proportion of adolescents or younger adults to borrow references.
For example
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, in my city, not many adolescents or younger adults rent some bibliographies in local
libraries
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 as not convenient.
Additionally
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, the
libraries
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 would be closed down if they chose e-
books
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 rather than print
books
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, based on the statements above, many
people
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 tend to e-
books
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 as convenient and engaging as print
books
Use synonyms
.
However
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,
this
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 may cause to decline in the proportion of
people
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 borrowing
books
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 and some local
libraries
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 would be closed down.
Thus
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, the federal government should play the right role in addressing them.

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task achievement
Your essay demonstrates an attempt to address the topic, but your response is incomplete. You need to more clearly explain the reasons why people prefer e-books and deeply analyze the problems this could cause for libraries. Each point you raise should be supported with specific details or examples to strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
The essay's structure needs to be improved for better coherence and cohesion. Use clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to outline the main idea and ensure that each subsequent sentence supports that idea. Make better use of linking words to connect ideas between and within paragraphs, and pay attention to paragraphing to group related information together effectively.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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