Studies suggest that many teenagers these days prefer socialising online to meeting one another in person. Why do you think this is the case? What measures could be taken to encourage teenagers to spend more time meeting one another in person? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#studies #teenagers #person #case #measures #time

In recent years, more and more young

people

have chosen to interact with friends online rather than in a real place,

such

as a coffee shop, a park, or an amusement park. I suppose that there are two reasons result in

this

phenomenon, so I will describe them and provide some solutions to change in

this

essay.

Firstly

, the technology of social media and dating apps has more and more rapidly developed since

people

started to use the internet.

Therefore

, it is extremely convenient for individuals to know and connect with new friends.

For example

, in Taiwan, the number of

people

who enrolled on Tinder has reached 100 thousand in 2023.

Secondly

, nowadays,

people

are too exhausted to enjoy an appointment, and

thus

they just want to rest at home on weekends.

According to

a survey by BCC, more than 48% of teenagers in Japan refuse to date on a weekend because their load of work or study already makes them tired. Making real-world dates more easily could be an attractive way for young

people

to meet in person. I believe that providing them with a dating plan can save them time when they feel tired. It includes not only sharing several interactive tips but

also

some activities in which they can participate.

Moreover

, we could cooperate with dating apps, sending some official messages to tell users some advantages of outdoor dating.

For instance

, the Korean government has made a lot of tourism plans, uploaded them on Bumble which is a dating website in Asia, and succeeded in attracting enormous couples to travel.

To sum up

, the development of technology and the exhaustion of lives have teenagers prefer to take

along with

others online.

However

, we can reduce the difficulty of meeting in person,

such

as giving a plan or making some advertisements of physical dates to affect

this

phenomenon.

Submitted by J.C.Li.1997.11 on Thu Jan 11 2024

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task achievement

Make sure to address the question directly and develop your main points fully. Reflect on the depth and development of ideas rather than just listing reasons and solutions.

coherence cohesion

Work on the logical progression of your essay. Ideas should flow naturally from one to the next, with clear connections and a systematic approach to answering the question.

task achievement

Support your points with specific, relevant examples. Avoid making general statements without backing them up with concrete examples or data.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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14Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

310 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

socialization
curate
engaging
social anxiety
digital detox
tech-free zones
mentorship programs
real-world interactions
face-to-face settings
in-person participation
promote
deter
foster
appeal
perspectives
detox challenges
community service

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