Young people who commit serious crimes, such as robbery or violent attacks should be punished in the same way as adults. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #crimes #robbery #attacks #adults

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Serious

crimes

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are harmful to society as they put

people

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at a disadvantage and the perpetrators behind them can be

adults

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or young

people

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However

Linking Words

, the punishment for younger

people

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is more lenient rather than the

adults

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because they are still

minors

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While

Linking Words

some

people

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think that both of them should be punished in the same way, I completely disagree because

minors

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cannot be held accountable for their

actions

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. Victims suffer a lot of

damages

Fix the agreement mistake

damage

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because of

crimes

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such

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as robbery or violent attacks, that make them want justice for themselves by having the culprit punished no matter what their age. It is understandable because they are at a loss so they think that every attacker deserves their repercussion.

People

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are bound to feel insecure and scared that the same

crimes

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might occur again if the offenders are being excused because of their age. Because of

this

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, some of them think that

people

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should be thrown in jail for stealing without any age exception because they have to learn about their

actions

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Nonetheless

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people

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less than 18 years old are considered

minors

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which means that they have to be under adult supervision. They have not yet developed their minds completely so they tend to make rash decisions. Because of

this

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, they are not entirely accountable for their

actions

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While

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it is true that they should be given a punishment, it will be different from the

adults

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because they need

further

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guidance.

For instance

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, younger criminals should be punished less tough but their parents should

also

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be aware of their child's

crimes

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. From here, a parent can set a better example for their child so they will not do the same thing. In conclusion,

while

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acknowledging the severity of

crimes

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and the need for accountability, it is essential to recognize the circumstances surrounding young offenders.

Minors

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, being in the process of mental and emotional development, may lack full awareness of their

actions

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Therefore

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, I maintain my stance that the repercussions for young offenders should differ from those for

adults

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, emphasizing the importance of guidance and support to steer them away from a path of criminal

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

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Submitted by ieltswriting91 on Thu Jan 11 2024

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task achievement

Make sure to develop your arguments with clear, specific examples. The lack of concrete examples has affected the essay's task achievement score.

coherence cohesion

Work on enhancing the logical flow of the essay. Transitions could be used more effectively to create a seamless progression between ideas.

coherence cohesion

Although main points are mentioned, they require further development and support to strengthen the argument. Aim to elaborate on each point and connect them back to the thesis.

task achievement

The response could be more complete by discussing both perspectives before concluding, as the prompt asks for the extent of agreement or disagreement.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

355 words

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Young people who commit serious crimes, such as robbery or violent attacks should be punished in the same way as adults. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some workers must work at night. What are the advantages and disadvantages of night-shift work? Give reasons and examples to support your opinion.

Many people around the world use social media everyday to keep in touch with other people and get news events. Do you think the advantanges outweigh the disadvamtages?

Some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organized group activities in their free time. Others say that it is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people say that traffic accidents are caused by the increasing number ò motorbikes. Other blame for man’s fault. Which point of view do you agree ?

Studies have shown that most criminals have low levels of education. Because of this many believe that the best way to reduce crime is to educate prisoners so they can get a job after being released. To what extent do you agree or disagree?