IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

News stories on TV and in newspapers are very often accompanied by pictures. Some people say that these pictures are more effective than words. What is your opinion about this? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Some would argue that illustrated news is more efficient than information without illustrations.
However
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, in
this
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 essay, I would agree with
this
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 idea, because the visual improvement provides data, and
second,
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the visualization makes info more acceptable. Generally, humans have some senses to accept the environment.
Nevertheless
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, the most strong of them are the seeing and the hearing. So, it is common practice to provide material using these two feelings,
also
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 it is important to prove it if what we see doesn't seem what we hear.
For example
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,
according to
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 the social experiments among students presented by ABC company in 2014, 1000 participants were shown facts, which were not confirmed by the written words. 34% of the audience believed images more than publishments, 21% accepted words, and
finally
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, 45% compared clues and found out false facts.
This
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 research shows the fact that icons evidence tidings. Contrary, it can be used to dispute the same things, but it ensures a variety of uses of
this
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 method.
On the other hand
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, People are different, some of them take terms better in eye contact,
while
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 others prefer to listen.
Therefore
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, the best way to carry the message is to make illustrations.
For instance
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, Microsoft Company made the app WPS Office
according to
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 their own research of the market. Because there are huge amounts of presentations where diagrams and charts are used. Microsoft says it goes over 95%. In my opinion,
this
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 is an example of how illustrations give better results, it can be taken more easily because pie charts are a variant of images. Meanwhile, it has to be mentioned, that reading without photos develops human imagination. So, visualizations should be used wisely. In conclusion, pictures help to provide info and to perceive it in a better way.

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task response
Overall, the essay addresses the topic and provides an answer, but it could benefit from clearer organization and more specific examples. Try to avoid abrupt shifts in ideas and ensure that each paragraph logically follows from the previous one.
coherence and cohesion
The essay demonstrates an understanding of the topic, but there are some issues with coherence and cohesion. Focus on improving the logical flow between paragraphs and within sections. Use more linking words and phrases to create smoother transitions.
introduction conclusion
Improve the introduction by providing a clearer thesis statement that outlines the main points. This will help guide the reader and provide a solid foundation for the essay.
task response
The examples provided are somewhat relevant but could be more specific and detailed. Specific examples that are directly tied to the main points will strengthen the overall argument.
task response
The essay provides a clear stance and attempts to support it with examples.
task response
The inclusion of research studies and company practices adds some depth to the discussion.
coherence and cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points of the essay.
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