IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #risks #lives
It has been said that you can broaden your horizons by being a good risk-taker,
although
 it can put extra pressure on your
life
 as you decide to go out of your safe zone. In my view , it can be beneficial as you get the chance to experience new things and gain the ability to tackle tougher situations. In
this
 essay, I will examine both points of view and introduce my own opinion.
Firstly
, If you are responsible enough to carry the can and take the blame when things go wrong, you can stick your neck out and enjoy new experiences in your
life
.
For instance
, I have set up a small art store recently, after a period of time that I spent learning the ropes by working for other related artists. In
this
 process, I have tried to be a better communicator, independent-minded and decision-maker when lots of initiatives started to show up.
In addition
 to these personal growths, my business has become more and more famous day by day and makes more profits.
Although
 there are lots of issues
such
 as financial constraints, marketing and so on, it usually has an increasing trend. Having said that, being a risk-taker can have some drawbacks which sometimes would be irreparable. Especially, when it comes to emotional relationships you may get pain, stress and mental breakdowns which can make your
life
 chaotic for a
while
. But when you decide to take a step forward in it, there are lots of chances to enjoy being with a person that you love and make incredible memories together. To put it in a nutshell,
although
 accepting the risks can be hard and have various kinds of emotional, personal or financial loss
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 when it becomes successful, surely they would expand your
life
 and cause growth which is essential in human
life
.
Consequently
, as far as I'm concerned, the pros of
this
 matter can outweigh the cons significantly.
Submitted by shabnamoutokesh on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph contains a clear main idea and supporting details. The logical flow can be improved by enhancing transitions between ideas and paragraphs.
task achievement
Your essay presents a clear position throughout the response, yet strive to fully develop your main points, particularly with regard to specific examples.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Opportunities
  • Growth
  • Innovation
  • Challenges
  • Self-discovery
  • Resilience
  • Uncertainty
  • Consequences
  • Calculated risks
  • Stagnation
  • Regret
  • Comfort zone
  • Entrepreneurship
  • Adventurous spirit
  • Thriving
  • Failure
  • Mitigate
  • Reap the rewards
What to do next:
Look at other essays: