IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

B.Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary schools rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

#b #experts #children #language #schools #school #outweigh
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Some professionals are convinced that studying another
language
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 in elementary school is better than in secondary school.
although
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 learning a foreign
language
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 may take away other crucial
subjects
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due to
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time
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 constraints, it can be beneficial to acquire a new
language
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 at an early age. In
this
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 essay, I will discuss why the positive sides far outweigh the negative sides of
this
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 condition. The prominent advantage is the children's brains are more receptive to learning new
language
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 at a younger age. Kids are in their golden age and their brains still develop to the fullest. During
this
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 period, like spoons, their brains can absorb any topic easily. They can imitate only
by
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apply
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what they see and hear. Their cognitive development function can facilitate them to master the
language
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 fluently in a short
time
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.
For example
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, 70% of elementary students in Indonesia can speak basic English only because the teachers always talk in English in class. Without the need to teach the students intensively, the youngsters already can
talk
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speak
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 basic English because they always listen to their teachers doing so every day.
On the other hand
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, one primary adverse consequence, adding a foreign
language
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 to the curriculum potentially takes away the other crucial
subjects
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such
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 as mathematics and sciences
due to
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 the limited
time
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. They need to get reduced
time
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 to study both important
subjects
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 to study a new
language
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.
However
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, it is worth doing because the students can get comparable
subjects
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 as a replacement for learning a new
language
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. Starting to learn another
language
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 in primary school has virtues and drawbacks and in
this
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 essay, I discuss them both. I consider everything and I am inclined to say that, the advantage points of
this
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 tendency are far better.
Submitted by nurulfitriakamilah on

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structure
Ensure that your introduction and conclusion are clearly outlined and properly encapsulate the main argument of the essay. The introduction should set the stage for the discussion, and the conclusion should summarize the main points without introducing new information.
content
Develop your main points with well-integrated supporting evidence. The use of examples is crucial, but they must be fleshed out and directly related to the points being made. Avoid superficial mentions that do not strengthen the argument.
task response
Your essay must completely respond to the question, presenting a clear position throughout the response. Make sure that each paragraph contributes to the overall argument or statement posed by the question, addressing both the advantages and disadvantages equitably.
cohesion
Work on creating a more cohesive essay by linking ideas more effectively between and within paragraphs. Utilize a range of cohesive devices such as conjunctions, cohesive phrases, and transitional words to guide the reader through your argument seamlessly.
logic
Strive for a logical structure where ideas progress naturally from one to the next. Each paragraph should have a clear central topic, which is then elaborated upon with examples and explanations.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • early language acquisition
  • receptive
  • cultural awareness
  • global perspective
  • cognitive development
  • problem-solving skills
  • curriculum time
  • resource constraints
  • qualified language teachers
  • proficiency
  • competitive edge
  • academic performance
  • stress and pressure
  • overwhelm
What to do next:
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