IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Some people prefer to live in hot climates, whereas others love the lifestyles in countries with cold climates. Discuss both the views and give your opinion.

#people #climates #love #lifestyles #countries
In today’s society, the question of where it is better to live, whether in a cold or hot
climate
, has become a topic of debate. Some individuals argue that it is beneficial for them
living
Wrong verb form
to live
show examples
 in the northern areas of our globe,
while
 others hold the opposing view, preferring hot temperatures.
Although
 it is believed by some that
live
Wrong verb form
living
show examples
 in cold
countries
 is better from an economic point of view, I opine that hot
countries
 can offer a better quality of life in terms of mind-body health. Supporters of living in cold
countries
 argue that they made
this
 choice because it allowed them to earn more money than usual and
having
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
 a higher standard of living. In fact, administrations of northern nations,
such
 as Alaska or Canada, are trying to persuade people to move there in order to work in their big industries (eg. fishing, mining etc.) by offering higher salaries to seasonal workers.
For example
, Netflix is producing some TV series on
this
 kind of job,
such
 as “Gold
researchers
Capitalize word
Researchers
show examples
” or “Extreme
nature
Capitalize word
Nature
show examples
”. Despite extreme weather conditions, workers are content, because they usually earn three times what they earn on a normal job.
On the other hand
, proponents of considering a lifestyle in hot places think that living there can allow them to stay healthy, because of the sweeter
climate
.
In addition
, people who moved to Africa or South America made that choice
also
 because these continents are less expensive than Europe or the US. They can save some money, and be more mentally relaxed at the same time. I know a couple of family friends who moved to Kenya not so long ago. They are happy there because of the quality of life they have been experiencing. The sweeter temperatures help one of them with his lung condition, and
consequently
Add a comma
consequently,
show examples
 he is healthy, more serene and satisfied. In conclusion, the issue of where individuals prefer to live is a complex one.
While
 a cold
climate
 can offer more job opportunities and a better financial situation, a lifestyle in
countries
 with a hot
climate
 allows them to be more healthy, relaxed and joyful.
Submitted by eva.jm.esse on

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task achievement
Ensure that both views on the preference for living in hot or cold climates are discussed equally. Elaborate on specific examples and provide a balanced analysis before concluding with your opinion.
coherence cohesion
Introduce each paragraph with a clear topic sentence. Maintain logical sequencing throughout the essay. Use a range of linking words to connect ideas and paragraphs but also ensure variety to avoid repetition.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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