Society is based on rules and laws. If individuals were free to do whatever they want to do, it could not function. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the above statement?

A nation has
large
Change the article
a large
the large
show examples
number of
population
Fix the agreement mistake
populations
show examples
that are different in terms of status
as well as
habit in their everyday life. To manage
these various kind
Change the determiner
this various kind
these various kinds
show examples
of
people
,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
should make regulations in order to make all the
citizents
Correct your spelling
citizens
more
discipline
Replace the word
disciplined
show examples
and prevent them from doing detrimental things to others. From my point of view, I strongly agree with
this
statement based on several reasons. In
this
essay, I will discuss the reasons why I agree that everyone
does
Verb problem
is
show examples
not allowed to be free. One aspect which is worthy of deliberation is life
ballancing
Correct your spelling
balancing
among society.
People
cannot live by following their desire only, because it will lead to
unequality
Correct your spelling
inequality
of treatment where powerful
people
have a tendency to
controll
Correct your spelling
control
those who have lower status than them. A
laborer
Change the spelling
labourer
show examples
,
for example
,
earning
Wrong verb form
earns
show examples
very low wages from the company where he
work
Change the verb form
works
show examples
, and he just receives it without complaining even
he
Correct word choice
though he
show examples
knows that the income is not equal
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
his hard work.
Therefore
, regulations and laws availability are required as a
pervented
Correct your spelling
prevented
perverted
action
towars
Correct your spelling
towards
this
case. Another aspect which needs to be taken into account is security.
Event
Correct your spelling
Even
show examples
though freedom is
also
the right of every
individu
Correct your spelling
individual
, it does not
means
Correct subject-verb agreement
mean
show examples
they can legalize every single action, but it brings
worst
Correct article usage
a worst
show examples
impact
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
others.
as
Change preposition
For
show examples
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
example,
people
can kill someone when they dislike
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
each other or
people
can take over someone else's possessions without feeling guilty.
These kind
Change the determiner
This kind
These kinds
show examples
of bad
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
show examples
will possibly happen if there
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
no official laws towards residents who are harmful . In conclusion, regulations and laws enable
people
not to be selfish in doing everything, including uncontrolled actions towards the
people
around them. In
this
way, everyone can live an equal life with others and safety will be better maintained.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Introduction and Conclusion
You should make sure that both an introduction and a conclusion are clearly present in the essay. The lack of a discernible conclusion undermines the completeness of the response.
Supported Main Points
Ensure that the main points in the essay are well supported with specific examples or evidence. Avoid statements that are too general or do not convincingly back up the argument being made.
Logical Structure
Develop a clearer logical structure for your essay by organizing the content into distinct paragraphs, each with a single focus. Furthermore, transitions between sentences and paragraphs should flow naturally, guiding the reader through the essay's argument.
Complete Response
The response needs to address all parts of the task fully. It should provide clear arguments that are relevant to the prompt. Ensure that the essay remains on topic and comprehensively explores the issue at hand.
Clear Comprehensive Ideas
Work on expressing your ideas more clearly and comprehensively. Make your essay's argument more persuasive by developing your ideas further and exploring their implications. This will show a deeper understanding of the topic.
Relevant Specific Examples
Use more relevant and specific examples to support your points. Providing concrete examples makes your argument stronger and more compelling, helping to illustrate abstract ideas with real-world situations.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • social order
  • harmonious
  • individual freedoms
  • societal norms
  • unrestricted freedom
  • crime rates
  • dysfunctional
  • fair distribution
  • human rights
  • justice system
  • accountability
  • enforcing laws
  • restrictive regulations
  • societal functionality
  • legal frameworks
What to do next:
Look at other essays: