IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the popularity of well-known instagram accounts in 2011 and 2021

The chart below shows the popularity of well-known instagram accounts in 2011 and 2021
#popularity #instagram #accounts
The given bar chart illustrates the popularity
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
 five famous
instagram
Change the capitalization
Instagram
show examples
 influencers in two
year
Change to a plural noun
years
show examples
, 2018 and 2021.
Overall
,
it is clear that
 the trend of popularity from influencers
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 Instagram
was
Verb problem
has
show examples
 increased over the periods.
In addition
,
Selena
Gomez
 was the most popular in the first period, but the figure was changed
into
Change preposition
to
show examples
 Christiano Ronaldo
at the end
 of
period
Add an article
the period
show examples
. Now, turning to the details
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
Selena
Gomez
 was the most popular celebrity that had more than 100 million followers in 2018, followed by Ariana Grande and Christiano Ronaldo who just had a small different number
with
Change preposition
from
show examples
Selena
Gomez
. Kylie Jenner had
exact
Change the word
exactly
show examples
 100
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 followers
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 her
instagram
Change the capitalization
Instagram
show examples
 account, and the least was The Rock who had nearly 100
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
. In 2021, it is worth noticing that all the
celebrity
Fix the agreement mistake
celebrities
show examples
 experienced rose of their fame. Christiano Ronaldo had
dramatically
Replace the word
a dramatic
show examples
 upward figure since he hit a peak with roughly 310
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
, compared to The Rock, Ariana Grande, and Kylie Jenner with approximately 250
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 followers.
On the other hand
,
Selena
Gomez
 who was
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
 first position only had under 250 in 2021.
Submitted by musa.nuwa on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Replace the words selena, gomez, millions with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Social media phenomenon
  • User engagement
  • Digital influencers
  • Celebrity endorsements
  • Algorithmic reach
  • Follower count
  • Engagement rates
  • Visual content
  • Viral trends
  • Brand collaborations
  • Internet sensation
  • Cultural impact
  • Demographics
  • Monetization
  • Social networking sites
What to do next:
Look at other essays: