Some people think that a huge amount of time and money is spent on the protection of wild animals and that this money could be better spent on the human population. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? Use specific reasons and examples to explain your choice. You should write at least 250 words.

It is
undeniable
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an undeniable
show examples
fact that a great deal of
public
Correct article usage
the public
show examples
are
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is
show examples
attracted a question to today's world debate is whether we should
spending
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spend
show examples
a mount
Correct your spelling
amount
show examples
of time and money on
conservation
Correct article usage
the conservation
show examples
of wildlife or improving livelihood and enhancing
quality
Add an article
the quality
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of
life
of
human
Add an article
the human
show examples
population. From my perspective, I partly agree the viewpoint that
animal
Fix the agreement mistake
animals
show examples
should be
proctected
Correct your spelling
protected
.
However
, the government
also
need
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need to
show examples
enlarge development and investment in
quality
Add an article
the quality
show examples
of human
life
.
And
Correct word choice
This
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this
statement
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
will be discussed in the following paragraphs. On the one hand,
although
we have been through many centuries, many parts of the world still suffer from the lack of healthcare,
humanitarian
Correct word choice
and humanitarian
show examples
aids
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aid
show examples
(war, new diseases, famine, religious/ethnical conflict). A number of people face
poverty- stricken
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poverty-stricken
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and dieses circumstances. Economic recession is
ongoing
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an ongoing
the ongoing
show examples
cause that people
lose
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to lose
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their jobs which
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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consequently
increase
Correct subject-verb agreement
increases
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inflation rates and unemployment rates
rise
Verb problem
apply
show examples
. A lot of businesses had to
closed
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close
show examples
. The priority should be helping to raise the living standards, welfare, well-being, and education of society, which have a negative correlation with adverse effects on the
environment
. The priority should be helping to raise the living standards, welfare, well-being, and education of society, which have a negative correlation with adverse effects on the
environment
. Humanity is the main subject; without humans, the
environment
would not be defined as itself. Everything gets its meaning from the perspective of humans.
On the other hand
,
raise
Wrong verb form
raising
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a
Remove the article
apply
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funding to save wildlife is very essential. Wild animals
is one
Verb problem
have
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of vital role in human
life
. It not only
balance
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balances
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the ecosystem but
also
help
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helps
show examples
archives medical
breakthrough
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breakthroughs
show examples
. Wild animals play important roles in the food chain and are important food sources for
human
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humans
show examples
. If they are
extincted
Correct your spelling
extinct
, the risk of shortage of the food chain is very high, especially in human
life
directly affected. Protecting the
environment
will ensure a sustainable future for
our
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the
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next generation.
To sum up
,
wild
Correct your spelling
wildlife
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life
bring
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brings
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various benefits
for
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to
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our
life
.
Although
there are many reasons for protecting wildlife, I believe that the well-being of humans should take precedence
due to
the numerous dangers they face.
Submitted by jakelong16091994 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure you provide a clear introduction that presents the topic and your thesis statement, followed by cohesive body paragraphs that support your argument with specific examples. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea that is expanded on with detailed explanation and examples.
coherence cohesion
In your conclusion, summarize your main points and restate your opinion clearly. Be explicit in showing the examiner why your argument is balanced, following the line of reasoning established in the introduction and body paragraphs.
task achievement
Fully address all parts of the task. Your essay should give a balanced discussion of both sides of the argument and then give your own opinion. The opinion should be clear throughout the essay—not just at the end—and supported by relevant examples.
task achievement
Develop your main points with more detailed explanations and examples. These examples need to be relevant and specific to the topic in question. They should effectively support your argument and demonstrate the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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