Some people think that a huge amount of time and money is spent on the protection of wild animals and that this money could be better spent on the human population. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? Use specific reasons and examples to explain your choice.

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It is
undeniable
Correct article usage
an undeniable

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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fact that a great deal of
public
Correct article usage
the public

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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are
Change the verb form
is

The plural verb are does not appear to agree with the singular subject deal. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

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attracted a question to today's world debate is whether we should
spending
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spend

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb spending. Consider changing it.

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a mount
Correct your spelling
amount

The word a mount seems to be miswritten. Consider replacing it.

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of time and money on
conservation
Correct article usage
the conservation

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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of wildlife or improving livelihood and enhancing
quality
Add an article
the quality

The noun phrase quality seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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of
life
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

of
human
Add an article
the human

The noun phrase human population seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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population. From my perspective, I partly agree the viewpoint that
animal
Fix the agreement mistake
animals

It seems that animal may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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should be
proctected
Correct your spelling
protected

If you don’t want proctected to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

.
However
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the government
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

need
Add the particle
need to

It appears that the verb enlarge should be in the to-infinitive form. Consider adding the word to.

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enlarge development and investment in
quality
Add an article
the quality

The noun phrase quality seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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of human
life
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
And
Correct word choice
This

It seems that conjunction use may be incorrect here.

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this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

statement
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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will be discussed in the following paragraphs. On the one hand,
although
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

we have been through many centuries, many parts of the world still suffer from the lack of healthcare,
humanitarian
Correct word choice
and humanitarian

It seems that conjunction use may be incorrect here.

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aids
Fix the agreement mistake
aid

It seems that aids may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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(war, new diseases, famine, religious/ethnical conflict). A number of people face
poverty- stricken
Correct your spelling
poverty-stricken

The word poverty- stricken seems to be miswritten. Consider replacing it.

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and dieses circumstances. Economic recession is
ongoing
Add an article
an ongoing
the ongoing

The noun phrase ongoing cause seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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cause that people
lose
Fix the infinitive
to lose

It seems that the use of particle to may be incorrect here.

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their jobs which
is
Unnecessary verb
apply

The verb is appears to be unnecessary here.

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consequently
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

increase
Correct subject-verb agreement
increases

It seems that the verb increase does not agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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inflation rates and unemployment rates
rise
Verb problem
apply

There may be a verb use issue here.

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. A lot of businesses had to
closed
Change the verb
close

It appears that the verb closed should be in the base form as part of the to-infinitive following had. Consider changing the verb form.

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. The priority should be helping to raise the living standards, welfare, well-being, and education of society, which have a negative correlation with adverse effects on the
environment
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. The priority should be helping to raise the living standards, welfare, well-being, and education of society, which have a negative correlation with adverse effects on the
environment
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. Humanity is the main subject; without humans, the
environment
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

would not be defined as itself. Everything gets its meaning from the perspective of humans.
On the other hand
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
raise
Wrong verb form
raising

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb raise. Consider changing it.

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a
Remove the article
apply

The indefinite article, a, may be redundant when used with the uncountable noun funding in your sentence. Consider removing it.

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funding to save wildlife is very essential. Wild animals
is one
Verb problem
have

There may be a verb use issue here.

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of vital role in human
life
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. It not only
balance
Change the verb form
balances

The verb balance does not seem to agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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the ecosystem but
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

help
Change the verb form
helps

It appears that the subject pronoun It and the verb help are not in agreement. Consider changing the verb.

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archives medical
breakthrough
Fix the agreement mistake
breakthroughs

It seems that breakthrough may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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. Wild animals play important roles in the food chain and are important food sources for
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans

It seems that human may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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. If they are
extincted
Correct your spelling
extinct

If you don’t want extincted to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

, the risk of shortage of the food chain is very high, especially in human
life
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

directly affected. Protecting the
environment
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

will ensure a sustainable future for
our
Change the word
the

The word our may be incorrect in this context. Consider changing it.

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next generation.
To sum up
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
wild
Correct your spelling
wildlife

The word wild life seems to be miswritten. Consider replacing it.

show examples
life
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

bring
Change the verb form
brings

The verb bring does not seem to agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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various benefits
for
Change preposition
to

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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our
life
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
Although
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

there are many reasons for protecting wildlife, I believe that the well-being of humans should take precedence
due to
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

the numerous dangers they face.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure you provide a clear introduction that presents the topic and your thesis statement, followed by cohesive body paragraphs that support your argument with specific examples. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea that is expanded on with detailed explanation and examples.
coherence cohesion
In your conclusion, summarize your main points and restate your opinion clearly. Be explicit in showing the examiner why your argument is balanced, following the line of reasoning established in the introduction and body paragraphs.
task achievement
Fully address all parts of the task. Your essay should give a balanced discussion of both sides of the argument and then give your own opinion. The opinion should be clear throughout the essay—not just at the end—and supported by relevant examples.
task achievement
Develop your main points with more detailed explanations and examples. These examples need to be relevant and specific to the topic in question. They should effectively support your argument and demonstrate the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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