When a country is already rich, any additional increase in economic wealth does not make its citizens happier. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It argued that economic
growth
in an affluent Use synonyms
country
does not Use synonyms
increase
citizen’s Use synonyms
happiness
.
I believe that Use synonyms
citizens
in wealthy Use synonyms
Use synonyms
country
do not feel happier by any economic Fix the agreement mistake
countries
increase
.
On one hand, some Use synonyms
people
consider that economic Use synonyms
growth
and Use synonyms
citizens
’ Use synonyms
happiness
in developed Use synonyms
Use synonyms
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
is
Verb problem
have
positive
correlation.Add an article
a positive
Firstly
, economic Linking Words
growth
Use synonyms
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
government
to develop better welfare.
Correct article usage
the government
Citizens
of developed Use synonyms
countries
usually feel more Use synonyms
happiness
, Use synonyms
such
as Finland, and Sweden are both in first and second place in the survey named World Linking Words
Happiness
Report. Use synonyms
Citizens
of developed Use synonyms
countries
usually feel more Use synonyms
happiness
, Use synonyms
such
as Finland, and Sweden are both in first and second place in the survey named World Linking Words
Happiness
Report. Based on the developed economy, rich Use synonyms
countries
are able to develop better welfare for their Use synonyms
citizens
and establish a better environment. Use synonyms
Secondly
, economic Linking Words
growth
brings Use synonyms
more
comfortable and convenient Correct article usage
a more
life
to Use synonyms
people
. Another benefit of economic Use synonyms
growth
is that it brings a more comfortable and convenient Use synonyms
life
to Use synonyms
people
. Once Use synonyms
people
get used to being in their comfort zone, Use synonyms
people
Use synonyms
satisfy
with the comfort and convenience and Change the form of the verb
satisfied
people
feel happier.
Use synonyms
On the other hand
, some Linking Words
people
believe that an additional economic Use synonyms
increase
in a developed Use synonyms
country
indeed not make their Use synonyms
citizens
happier. First of all, an additional economic Use synonyms
increase
impairs the quality of Use synonyms
life
. Economic Use synonyms
increase
means that Use synonyms
people
have to put more effort at work, and need to get used to longer hours and higher stress at work. It reduces the time that we spend on family and friends and less entertainment in our daily lives, which makes Use synonyms
people
feel less pleasure Use synonyms
therefore
it does not make Linking Words
citizens
happier. Use synonyms
Secondly
, Linking Words
people
always seek for higher goals and desires in the rich Use synonyms
countries
. A prosperous Use synonyms
country
represents that most Use synonyms
people
are satisfied with their basic needs. Use synonyms
However
, based on the human nature of chasing the better, with increasing financial ability, Linking Words
people
will expect more and higher goals, and they will never be satisfied. In conclusion, I believe that economic Use synonyms
growth
in an affluent Use synonyms
country
does not Use synonyms
increase
Use synonyms
citizens
’ Use synonyms
happiness
for the following reasons, an additional economic Use synonyms
increase
impairs the quality of Use synonyms
life
and Use synonyms
people
always seek higher goals and desires in rich Use synonyms
countries
.Use synonyms
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coherence cohesion
In terms of coherence and cohesion, the essay's structure needs improvement. While there is an attempt at an introduction, main body, and conclusion, the logical flow between ideas is hindered by repetitive sentences and a lack of clear transitions. It's essential to avoid repeating the same information, as seen with the duplicated sentences regarding Finland and Sweden. Additionally, the introduction and conclusion could be more explicit in stating the thesis and summarizing the main points.
task achievement
Concerning task achievement, the essay partially addresses the prompt but lacks depth in exploring the reasons behind the statements made. There is a need for more varied and in-depth examples to strengthen the argument. Avoid vague assertions and provide concrete evidence or studies to support your points. Ensure that the response is fully developed and directly relevant to the question asked, without straying from the topic.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.