IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people argue that all experimentation on animals is bad and should be outlawed. However, others believe that important scientific discoveries can be made from animal experiments. Can experimentation on animals be justified? Are there any alternatives?

#people #experimentation #animals #discoveries #experiments #alternatives
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Currently, people believe that any
research
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 using
animals
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 is not a good thing and should be banned
while
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 others may think that important inventions or scientific discoveries can result from
animals
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.
This
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 essay will examine the justification for experiments on
animals
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 and another option to replace it. Scientists may already have had a deep discussion to decide on the use of
animals
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 in experiments
therefore
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 it is legal to utilize it for discoveries. The decision is made because we know that
animals
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 have many of common things with humans.
For instance
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,
animals
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 have eyes, mouths, and teeth, and they have an instinct like a person to survive.
Furthermore
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, killing
animals
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 for any experiment will eventually keep the habitant in a stable condition. As we know, if the number of mice, one kind of animal
that is
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 normal to be in
research
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 gets bigger and attacks farms, it will make the farmers could not grow their plants.
That is
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 why there is no regulation to prohibit researchers from using
animals
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.
Although
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animals
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 may be the first option, I think there is an alternative for the experiment which is a dead human body. There are advantages of it like the effectiveness. If the purpose of
research
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 is for the human, it has the exact function and organ as the living human, and
also
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 the result may be more correct rather than using other species.
However
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, the permit must be released by the researchers from the doctors, family, or even the police and I think
this
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 alternative is more common nowadays. In conclusion,
although
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 there is another alternative to experimentation like using the dead human body, I think utilizing the
animals
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 can be justified for scientific purposes because of the benefits of it in the life-cycle ecosystem
as well as
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 the purpose of the
research
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.
Submitted by rezaf.permadi on

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introduction conclusion
Ensure the introduction and conclusion clearly state your position and summarise the main points discussed in the essay. Make them succinct and relevant.
coherence
Link your ideas more effectively with a variety of connectors and cohesion devices.
support
Support each main point with clear and developed examples or reasons. Make sure they are fully elaborated and directly related to the question.
task response
Expand on your reasons and how they relate to the prompt. Aim for depth in your discussion and address the question fully.
language
Be cautious with your grammar and vocabulary. Ensure accuracy and appropriateness in your word choice and grammatical structures.
complexity
Try to use a wider range of sentence structures to demonstrate language flexibility and accuracy.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • scientific breakthroughs
  • ethical concerns
  • alternatives
  • animal testing
  • moral implications
  • ethical considerations
  • vivisection
  • research methods
  • ethical dilemmas
  • animal welfare
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