Universities should take the same number of men and women in each major. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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The statement regarding the importance of providing an equal number of seats in every program for males and females in higher
education
institutions is a pivotal topic because there is a debate about that. Personally, I agree that educational institutions should facilitate any gender to study in a formal way and I will delve into the primary reasons for my belief in
this
essay. Equality among humans is essential to be implemented because people across the world have similar opportunities and rights to pursue their dreams through accessible
education
.
Education
, to be more detailed, is one of the keys to improving individuals' lives and by giving
this
chance to either men or women, they have a possibility to alter their lives in the future.
For example
, Indonesian universities these days equally encourage every gender to join their programs in order to reduce the number of uneducated people in Indonesia.
Thus
, they will have the same quality of privilege to reach their big plans after getting a degree from a higher
education
level.
In addition
, conducting an equal
education
for all genders
also
supports diversity. Diverse perspectives or experiences in higher
education
institutions are crucial since it is able to enrich and enhance individuals' mindsets regarding topics that they study or research. Students,
as a result
, do not have to experience all matters or stories by themselves. By applying
this
notion, there,
for instance
, might be varied exchanges or learning transfers, from real-study cases to the actual data, among students in the classroom, so both females and males can expand their knowledge and abilities together and no one will be left behind.
To conclude
, I totally support the same quota for men and women in universities because equality and diversity in
education
are vital in order to decrease the number of uneducated individuals and improve their way of thinking.
Submitted by 2024successielts on

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Task Achievement
Ensure that your essay maintains a clear position throughout, with a consistent argument supporting that position. While your essay covers both sides of the argument initially, it tends to focus more on the benefits without sufficiently addressing potential counterarguments or qualifying your support based on certain conditions or contexts.
Task Achievement
Your essay would benefit from a more precise topic sentence in each paragraph that clearly indicates the main idea you intend to develop. Furthermore, while your conclusion effectively summarises your views, it needs to directly respond to the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement, reinforcing your overall position.
Coherence & Cohesion
Use a variety of cohesive devices effectively, but ensure that they accurately reflect the relationship between ideas. While your essay demonstrates a general progression of ideas, the logical sequencing can be improved by avoiding overly general statements and providing more explicit connections between the points made and the overall argument.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your concluding paragraph needs to directly restate your main argument and succinctly summarize the key points made in the body of the essay. This will strengthen the overall unity and cohesiveness of your piece.
Task Achievement
Include specific examples that directly support the argument you're making. While the Indonesian university example was relevant, providing additional, more detailed examples would enhance the strength of your arguments and provide grounding for your claims.
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