Modern cultures around the world have become similar when compared to the past. What are the reasons? Is it a positive or negative development?

The Latest cultures of various countries are becoming more similar than they used to be in the past. Yet, there remains a contentious debate as to whether the
overall
impact of
this
improvement can be beneficial or detrimental for various cultures.
However
, I fully believe that
this
is a negative development and I will support my idea with more details and practical examples.
Firstly
, we should be going into a state where nations are protecting their own history and civilizations.
For example
, we have seen in the news that Finland has banned the use of Coca-Cola as it influences
people
to become more obese and it is contradictory to the Finnish culture of working hard and maintaining a healthy body.
Hence
,
this
example of aligning with the culture of the past has given rise to the better well-being of the
people
and gives strength to my thesis.
Secondly
, the trait of making the ideas of self past a reality of the present provides identity and paves the way to nationalism.
For instance
, building a temple for Lord Ram in Ayodhya has made the
people
of India proud as it makes
people
associate their religion with their country as India is a Hindu majority-based nation without being influenced by other developed nations.
Therefore
it is proven that building a nation as per its history will provide nationalism to its citizens
as well as
a feeling of belongingness to the
people
living in the country. As a way of conclusion, I once again reaffirm that
this
procedure of modern cultures around the world is becoming similar
than
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to the past and is a negative development as its drawbacks outweigh its benefits. It is highly recommended to have and the reasons for the same can be summarised as protecting national interests, national identity and self-esteem.
Submitted by kartwgl on

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task achievement
The response only touches on the task's requirement to discuss reasons for the cultural similarities and lacks a balanced discussion on whether it is a positive or negative development. The essay needs to provide stronger and more specific reasons explicitly linked to the question. Additionally, the view that it is a negative development needs to be balanced with arguments for why one might see it as positive.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure could be improved by clearly outlining points in the introduction and providing a clear topic sentence at the beginning of each paragraph. Transitions between the paragraphs could be more seamless to aid in readability and to maintain a consistent flow throughout the essay. Furthermore, the conclusion should be expanded to reiterate the main points succinctly and provide a final thought on the topic.
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