In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Nowadays, children grow up in some countries with the idea that they are able to accomplish everything as long as they attempt to do their best.
This
essay will discuss the pros and cons of giving
this
message to children. In terms of advantages, saying that the more attempts she makes, the more success she will have can improve her self-confidence. A
child
would believe herself and
this
belief would be seen in many areas in every developmental stage of her life.
For instance
, it is proved by recent studies that a
child
who was conveyed self-confidence by her parents and social environment would be more successful than others who were never treated that way. The second advantage would be creating a habit of working. In the
last
decades, it has been really hard to get used to working to reach something. When we transfer
this
message to children, they would make numerous attempts, because they are nurtured that they can get.
For example
, if I
child
could have been believed she would be rewarded, she would work regularly to reach her goal.
On the other hand
, one of the drawbacks of
this
message is extreme competition. When a father rewards his daughter for work it will end up competing. Let’s imagine a girl who wants a baby doll. When her parents emphasized the idea that she could get
this
doll if she studied to get higher scores on exams.
This
mechanism is not helpful, because it may lead to competing with every person in her life to achieve anything.
Secondly
, and the worst outcome, would be developing mental health problems. In some nations
such
as Japan, people get used to working more and compare themselves with other people than other countries,
therefore
they have the most psychological diagnoses in the world.
To conclude
, even though telling a
child
that achieving something is up to her hard work has benefits
such
as developing self-confidence and working regularly, it has drawbacks
such
as competing with everyone and having psychological issues.
Submitted by busrasenturk1 on

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coherence cohesion
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coherence cohesion
Use a variety of linking words and phrases to better connect ideas and paragraphs, and to make the essay flow more naturally.
task achievement
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task achievement
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task achievement
To achieve a higher score, delve deeper into the implications of the given advantages and disadvantages, evaluate them critically, and present a more nuanced perspective.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • achieve
  • try hard
  • positive mindset
  • self-belief
  • motivates
  • ambitious goals
  • resilience
  • determination
  • confidence
  • self-esteem
  • growth mindset
  • unrealistic expectations
  • disappointment
  • failure
  • effort
  • hard work
  • seek support
  • individual differences
  • abilities
  • capabilities
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