In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

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Nowadays, children grow up in some countries with the idea that they are able to accomplish everything as long as they attempt to do their best.

This

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essay will discuss the pros and cons of giving

this

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message to children. In terms of advantages, saying that the more attempts she makes, the more success she will have can improve her self-confidence. A

child

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would believe herself and

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belief would be seen in many areas in every developmental stage of her life.

For instance

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, it is proved by recent studies that a

child

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who was conveyed self-confidence by her parents and social environment would be more successful than others who were never treated that way. The second advantage would be creating a habit of working. In the

last

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decades, it has been really hard to get used to working to reach something. When we transfer

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message to children, they would make numerous attempts, because they are nurtured that they can get.

For example

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, if I

child

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could have been believed she would be rewarded, she would work regularly to reach her goal.

On the other hand

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, one of the drawbacks of

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message is extreme competition. When a father rewards his daughter for work it will end up competing. Let’s imagine a girl who wants a baby doll. When her parents emphasized the idea that she could get

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doll if she studied to get higher scores on exams.

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mechanism is not helpful, because it may lead to competing with every person in her life to achieve anything.

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, and the worst outcome, would be developing mental health problems. In some nations

such

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as Japan, people get used to working more and compare themselves with other people than other countries,

therefore

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they have the most psychological diagnoses in the world.

To conclude

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, even though telling a

child

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that achieving something is up to her hard work has benefits

such

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as developing self-confidence and working regularly, it has drawbacks

such

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as competing with everyone and having psychological issues.

busrasenturk1Fri Jan 12 2024

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coherence cohesion

Ensure a clear logical progression of ideas by structuring paragraphs more effectively with clear topic sentences, supporting sentences, and concluding sentences.

coherence cohesion

Use a variety of linking words and phrases to better connect ideas and paragraphs, and to make the essay flow more naturally.

task achievement

While your essay addresses the task, make sure to fully develop your main points with more specific examples and explanations to strengthen your arguments.

task achievement

When providing examples, use precise and relevant details that clearly support the main point of the paragraph, enhancing the overall clarity of the essay.

task achievement

To achieve a higher score, delve deeper into the implications of the given advantages and disadvantages, evaluate them critically, and present a more nuanced perspective.

9
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

339 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

achieve
try hard
positive mindset
self-belief
motivates
ambitious goals
resilience
determination
confidence
self-esteem
growth mindset
unrealistic expectations
disappointment
failure
effort
hard work
seek support
individual differences
abilities
capabilities

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In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some people think that it is better to educate boys and girls in separate schools. Others, however, believe that boys and girls benefit more from attending mixed schools. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

We should fix the traffic and transportation by making everyone lives in the cities not suburbs or countrysides. What to extent do you agree or disagree?

In many countries, childhood obesity is a growing problem. What are the reasons for this and what can individuals and governments do to tackle the problem? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant experience from your own experience.