Some people believe that tourism promotes the economy while other argue that tourism destroy the environment. Discuss both views and give your oppinion

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It is considered by several individuals that
tourism
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enriches the economic sector.
In contrast
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, there are others who think that
tourism
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has harmful effects on the
environment
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. In my opinion, I believe that there are some bad behaviours from tourists
while
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are visiting other countries,
while
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they are playing a role in flourishing the economy in every visited country. On the one hand, many humans say that
tourism
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has negative perspectives on the
environment
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.
In other words
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, some travellers do not have sufficient awareness of their role in keeping
the
Correct article usage
apply
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nature clean which they have visited and they do wrong activities.
For example
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, many people throw rubbish in the sea
while
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they are lying on beaches as sightseers.
In addition
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, these bad behaviours can cause environmental problems,
such
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as the extinction of some species in the sea
due to
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unclean water like some fish and creatures.
On the other hand
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, numerous individuals think that
tourism
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promotes the economy. For more explanations,
tourism
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contributes to the financial growth of every country.
Moreover
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,too many revenues are generated near the monuments and tourist attractions through the travellers spending
accommodations
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on accommodations
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and other basic needs like meals.
For instance
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, Petra is a monument
that is
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located in Jordan.
Furthermore
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, many hotels are built near the tourists' views to meet every traveller's needs.
As a result
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,
this
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will enrich the
economical
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economic
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perspective of the country.
Finally
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, in my opinion, whether
tourism
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destroys the
environment
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or not. It enriches the
economical
Replace the word
economic
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side by the increased extended investments ,
such
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as huge malls specified for shopping which can attract tourists to buy their needs and souvenirs
as well as
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support the financial growth. In conclusion, many people believe that
tourism
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makes several destructions in the
environment
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,
while
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others think that it will make a positive progress in the economy sector.
Tourism
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has an effective role in boosting economics.
Submitted by dianaishaq on

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task achievement
Your essay presents both sides of the argument and offers a clear opinion, which is good. However, ensure that each paragraph clearly addresses a single main idea and remains focused on that idea throughout. Some areas could be better developed with more detailed examples or explanations to strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
You've made a good attempt at structuring the essay with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. To improve coherence and cohesion, work on logically organizing your thoughts and using a range of cohesive devices effectively. Ensure that paragraphs transition smoothly from one to another. Also, be careful with the repetition of ideas; aim to vary your language and sentence structures more.
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