Some people believe that tourism promotes the economy while other argue that tourism destroy the environment. Discuss both views and give your oppinion

It is considered by several individuals that
tourism
enriches the economic sector.
In contrast
, there are others who think that
tourism
has harmful effects on the
environment
. In my opinion, I believe that there are some bad behaviours from tourists
while
are visiting other countries,
while
they are playing a role in flourishing the economy in every visited country. On the one hand, many humans say that
tourism
has negative perspectives on the
environment
.
In other words
, some travellers do not have sufficient awareness of their role in keeping
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
nature clean which they have visited and they do wrong activities.
For example
, many people throw rubbish in the sea
while
they are lying on beaches as sightseers.
In addition
, these bad behaviours can cause environmental problems,
such
as the extinction of some species in the sea
due to
unclean water like some fish and creatures.
On the other hand
, numerous individuals think that
tourism
promotes the economy. For more explanations,
tourism
contributes to the financial growth of every country.
Moreover
,too many revenues are generated near the monuments and tourist attractions through the travellers spending
accommodations
Change preposition
on accommodations
show examples
and other basic needs like meals.
For instance
, Petra is a monument
that is
located in Jordan.
Furthermore
, many hotels are built near the tourists' views to meet every traveller's needs.
As a result
,
this
will enrich the
economical
Replace the word
economic
show examples
perspective of the country.
Finally
, in my opinion, whether
tourism
destroys the
environment
or not. It enriches the
economical
Replace the word
economic
show examples
side by the increased extended investments ,
such
as huge malls specified for shopping which can attract tourists to buy their needs and souvenirs
as well as
support the financial growth. In conclusion, many people believe that
tourism
makes several destructions in the
environment
,
while
others think that it will make a positive progress in the economy sector.
Tourism
has an effective role in boosting economics.
Submitted by dianaishaq on

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task achievement
Your essay presents both sides of the argument and offers a clear opinion, which is good. However, ensure that each paragraph clearly addresses a single main idea and remains focused on that idea throughout. Some areas could be better developed with more detailed examples or explanations to strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
You've made a good attempt at structuring the essay with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. To improve coherence and cohesion, work on logically organizing your thoughts and using a range of cohesive devices effectively. Ensure that paragraphs transition smoothly from one to another. Also, be careful with the repetition of ideas; aim to vary your language and sentence structures more.

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